One final drop – revisit

hoopty

Hot hoopty!

I’m revisiting the post I wrote around this time last year to consider this something of a milestone. It’s been over three years since I really last talked to Anthony the hustler. The events of this month three years ago – or in 2017 – marked the last real time I talked to him as a friend. It took some other events to cause me to reconsider our “situationship” however this month essentially marked the beginning of the end.

I called back to some of the events of this period of time in a pair of posts earlier this year. I noted his insistence on mention a certain character who I will close the character arc on him in the near future. And also Ant’s need to all the sudden expect me to chase money and consider working elsewhere in spite of how things had been going at the Hole during that period of time.

Well it took things going in a downward direction back in the latter half of ’17 which really caused me to blackout any communications with the Hustler. I was in no mood for any begging and I definitely had no intention of tell him my own sob story about how it all went wrong at that time. I just knew as I wrote that post last year also that I’d be even more depressed about it once it did come out.

It took me many years to realize at least with the Hustler trying to become part of my space, that yours truly was really under attack by him. It was unlike anything I really experienced the out of line personal questions, early requests for money, and even his seeming inability to realize I was backing off. Some of this I can recognize he knew what he was doing in some of these instances, for him it was an attempt at establishing a mentorship but as time goes on I view this as yours truly was a target for him. I fell right for the trap.

The red flags were flying all around the longer I maintained contact – essentially I’ve known him for the better part of nine years at this point. I like to believe the best in people and for a time I did believe the best in him. However, I know what it all lead to and I’m very glad that it’s over.

I must also add yes, I did write a post two months ago that I have no further stories to tell about him and that it’s probably time to stop talking about him on this blog. I recognize that I had broken that promise. In this instance it was necessary to note a milestone that seemed very unthinkable over three years ago.

Finally it must be noted that I’ve made some online efforts to cut any attempt at contact. While I haven’t blocked him from calling he hasn’t hit my phone since Christmas Day. If blocked any attempt at communication through facebook though it may be possible he could try to comment on those statuses he can actually see. I blocked him on twitter (which he doesn’t seem to use anymore), instagram (which aside from a few likes on some of my posts there he rarely seemed to use it), and even linked in (which he also seemed to rarely use). Time will tell if he’s finally gotten the hint, however, I’m trying not to be complacent.

The lesson with that individual is that he came around because he needed something. I found myself recognize how much he tried to chase me around once he made his purpose known. So I realize in this I made some mistakes, it causes me to realize that in dealing with people like him yours truly just has to be more forceful in keeping someone like this out of my space.

May I meet people who truly belong in my space.

Savings 2

This was an interesting period the year before I finally left The Show. Anthony the hustler needed another small infusion of cash for his martial arts school. He blatantly as with the comment of “I need some money” not longer after I answered his call. This took me aback when he pulled this.

A few things happened before this. First he finally left the theater for a security job something he was hyping up as an option for yours truly, however, I had no interest. What he had been excited about with this new gig was that he took on a union gig with assignments at a grocery store which whether we knew it or not was on death’s door as they would be closed for business by the end of the year.

Second, I was starting to get some interviews again. He tried to get me to follow-up with one job that I had an interview with. Not long after he quit The Show we met up and decided that I needed to follow his lead go into this downtown department store and follow-up on my interview. I balked and he hardly said anything and as it turned out I wasn’t going to get that job anyway.

This leads into the third thing, he was going after me for my perceived failures while job hunting. Most of that summer I had no phone calls no interviews and he even stopped me at work expecting an explanation for why I wasn’t getting any interviews. Worse still he had to note someone else who he thought little of was getting interviews so “What’s Jack V’s problem?”

I had asked him for advice after an interview with the national theater chain that I had seen as the promised land at the time. Of course this wasn’t at an ideal location which would be in downtown Chicago, instead this was at a suburban location in a shopping mall. He gave me the useless advice for negotiation saying I need to get a guarantee of some hours. I wanted to transfer back into downtown Chicago, “get you a guarantee of some hours and a few more dollars and there’s your transfer”. Anyway no point in negotiation I didn’t get the job

I had met with him later and asked him to find out who’s who at this theater (where he was going to catch a flick) for the national chain location near downtown and possibly for me to follow-up on any opportunities there. He came through and handed me a strange ultimatum letting me know “we might not talk anymore about jobs my friend”.

Not long after this he blatantly requests money for his martial arts school. WTF??? How desperate was this man?

Feeling No Love

abundance bank banking banknotes

Earlier I shared a story about leaving Anthony at The Show one night. It was my response to him asking for money right away and he had just started there and met me. I suppose the mistake I made is that he made his intentions (and other actions) clear early on before he even got to know me. I should’ve paid attention and most importantly keep erecting barriers because he was clearly not going to stay away.

Anyway, we became friends later and it was enough for him to try to hold me accountable for my job hunting. In October 2013, he had finally quit the theater for a security job at a grocery store. He was giving me $h!t for the lack of progress I had been making for most of that year. I give him a lead from someone who we had worked with his response was to…

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