Back to a semi-infrequent topic. To underscore the fact that this post isn’t safe for work the pic below is of Sinnamon Love getting some lovin’.
I started this post in early February getting ready for this period called Lent. Those who are Catholics had chosen to give something up, often a vice but it could be other things. It’s something I have only become aware of fairly recently.
Hell I didn’t realize the big party in New Orleans they call Mardi Gras was in keeping with Lent. It’s not a very Christian thing to show off your boobs for beads. Anyway I digress. 😛
I want to steer this thought towards how any potential growth for any relationship with a woman could be damanged or stunted because one chooses to view women through the lens of porn. I often fantasized about getting a woman in the same predicatement as that man had gotten Ms. Love.
Now to make Ms. Love not a nasty fantasy but a real person I can recognize that yes she’d be the one I’d like to make whoopie with. Meaning she’s done it in front of video cameras and done it many different ways so therefore she’d be worth it.
A lot of these women out there with whom I may have interest and unfortunately a difficulty expressing it I have no idea the extent of their desires. That is I don’t know what they’re willing to do for any man, especially one they may care for. It’s the great unknown and what often vexes me is the fact that it takes time to get a woman to the point where she’d even go there with you.
I realize often at various points that I have opportunity and it’s never taken. When it’s obvious I’m unsure how to proceed. Sometimes my hesitance may have done me some good but often depending upon her I may feel like I missed out on something.
Anyway, I realize that the fantasy of anal or just frolicking with a woman in general as they do in porn is one that intensifies in my mind. Especially I’m not getting any and that means somehow there needs to be some change in focus. Perhaps its in changing my comfort level with conversing with women and then steering whatever develops from that into attraction.
So far in just pondering this I still have little clue how to turn that imaginary key.
we’re in that period when people
have to give up something for a month. it could be smoking, drinking, anything. then i read this story about how a man met his wife.
what happened was that according to him he was fasting from dating. then she appeared and there were many connections such as being from the same state with the same mentality in addition to both being christian. it seems they were destined to being together.
the man wasn’t looking for her and then she arrives on the scene they became good friends. then she was about to join the peace corp only for it to work out. he doesn’t know that yet but he was like wait i really like you and want you to stay around. it was meant to be for them to actually be together.
it’s a good story i wanted to share. perfect for valentine’s day and hopefully inspiration for those of you who are seeking as i am. and also recognize, sometimes it just happens out of nowhere things like this. if you seek out love it seemingly hard.
it’s been a few years since i’ve officially worked retail. in fact you see the trends at a movie theater which is people come out on certain holidays. they certainly come out on valentine’s day with their significant others.
i’m back in that game this time around and before even returning to retail i noticed that a month or so before a significant holiday (i.e. Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween, etc.) they already begin stocking for that holiday. So right now if you go to your local supermarket you may see a display for Valentine’s day that will last through the next month. Then not long after that you’ll see a display for Easter.
Now it brings to mind that when was the last time anyone paid me any mind for Valentine’s Day. In grammar school the kids would hand out Valentine’s Day cards and candy would do it for everyone. It’s something I took for granted until it simply stopped and the kids gradually outgrew this tradition.
at this point i’ve been “flirting” with ways to make this holiday of sorts work for me. this year i might pick a girl or pick several and ask her to be my valentine. not sure what to expect out of this and not sure what my role should be but i’m excited to explore.
one thing i have toyed with in the past is asking one of the many women i’ve met online to fill the void of being my valentine although i never went through with it. this would be something i can do and hopefully we both can have some fun with it. of course i should drop the expectation that something would come of it.
all the same i think it would be fun and as much for me and for her. perhaps this is how i can finally connect with her.
btw, i’ve thought about asking some of the women at work including becky or mary perhaps others that i’ve never talked to other than for professional purposes. thing is it strikes me as very dangerous so it’s important to avoid that for now.