$h!tshow

You know I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while on here. It would’ve been perfect during the unrest over three years ago but then I hadn’t thought about it until recently.

So roughly during the winter/spring 10 years ago while at The Show, I was made aware of an allegation against one of our senior mgrs. I’m going to give him a moniker – Jacques – but let’s start with his hair style often resembled the style sported by The Beatles during their peak. He was a bit high strung and tight, very flamboyant in his behavior, he almost reminded me of the maitre’d on the TV program Hell’s Kitchen.

Jacques had allegedly (I never witnessed this) been overheard talking with another mgr – the one referred to as the HBIC we might discuss her further one day – and out of nowhere stated “I’m going to go watch these monkeys“. That is a statement that should’ve gotten him fired and potentially gotten her in trouble. I don’t know how many witnesses there were, however, I do know one of those stated witnesses had been let go in a “theft ring” at the cinemas back then.

If you want to know how I became aware of it, Anthony pulled me aside to let me know about it. I’m not sure why he opted to let me in on it. At one point I called it “drama” and he objected essentially to my use of that term in that situation. This incident allowed him to further his narrative about how The Show and its owners are both unfair and racist.

Of course the next question now becomes how exactly did he get involved with this? Anthony tends to talk to everyone so it probably started that way. Perhaps as even a loud mouth and cantankerous he may well have knowledge of the internal HR process of companies and he might have been a good resource to lean on. However, he may well have his own agenda in stirring this up. As you might know I don’t entirely believe everything he says anymore so now I just take a lot of what he told me with regards to this incident with a grain of salt.

His first move was to bring this to the attention of the GM who seemed to be glad to know about this as he tells it. Anthony later showed me a letter regarding this and when thinking about it is not clear who wrote the letter. Knowing how he texts the letter was far more professional than he could really write. I know this because during this time he had me type emails to those businesses or people he wanted to do business with. I don’t know if this coworker wrote this letter either. Regardless whoever produced this letter it was addressed to the GM, the HR person, and The Show’s company executives. It would be amazing that if this incident actually hadn’t happened that he had someone else outside of this situation to write this letter.

However, according to him he got blown off by the GM upon asking for an update and promised to cause some trouble in some way. He claims to know people although who he knows and who might actually follow-up is another question. Anthony told me later that the House Manager updated him that Jacques had been suspended for two-weeks without pay. The explanation was more or less a matter of them knowing Jacques for so many years and this wasn’t known to the employees because we really weren’t supposed to know. Again, this is something he should’ve been fired for and instead it’s a slap on the wrist. He lasted almost another two years – not too long after I had left – before he himself moved on from The Show.

With this said, if this happened did Jacques say he was going to watch these monkeys? Was it possible he was misheard or even his statement misconstrued? Well in 20/20 hindsight the man was a d!ck and was very loose with his words. I’ve witnessed this a few times myself with employees and a security guard noted how Jacques went at it with a customer using sarcasm. So if this incident happened, it was possible that he said what he said. Like a few mgrs up there he was unconcerned about what came out of his mouth and how it came out of his mouth though he wasn’t as flagrant as his colleagues as the HBIC

The coworker who allegedly reported this got promoted to supervisor almost a year later and she lasted in that role for roughly two years though as I had since moved on only she knows when exactly she did so. However, she herself was reported as a snake and was said to have a hand in the dismissal of another supervisor, my old coworker Keith. Still I just wonder why she was willing to work under someone (basically a supervisor works under a senior mgr) who showed very clear contempt for the workers. Although in all reality if Jacques did use such language and this coworker bears that in mind when accepting a promotion it was a relatively brief time anyway.

You know I don’t want to characterize all The Show’s mgmt as unprofessional there were some who were cool or even fair. Those were the exceptions more often than not. And unfortunately I often forget about the ones who called it as close to the middle as possible. Unfortunately I do remember the ones who I felt were unfair or just with a hair trigger temper looking to take their frustrations on someone or even just to throw under the bus.

Easter

So Easter weekened just passed and I wanted to share some things in regards to my current religious journey. I probably mentioned this young woman known as Black Catholic Chick who talks about her own journey. When she was done doing worldly things she decided to go back to Catholicism and that’s not without exploring other Christian traditions.

Of course I want to explore the situation of Blac Chyna aka Angela White and with regards to her undergoing a religious journey. It led her to sort of back away from some past decisions with regards to her body, her own exploitation of her body, perhaps even her exhibitionism, and perhaps her life. Black Catholic Chick discusses this also. And you know I respect that.

During the course of the past year I dedicated myself to removing porn from as much of my life as possible. It’s not completely gone, however, it’s something that I do believe is abusive and perverse. My goal especially for my future wife is try not to view her as only her body and certainly to view her as more than a means to satisfy my needs.

I do like attractive women, however, what’s also important is whether or not I enjoy my time with her as my best friend. We do adult things but that shouldn’t be the primary basis for any relationship thereof. Of course what I learned about a lot of young women having worked with them is that a lot of them define themselves by their assets. Some of them didn’t mind referring to themselves as big booty so and so. And of course for those who can run and got the cleavage then they can put on a show that way.

Blac Chyna isn’t much different than a lot of every day women (or girls) who already know they’re attractive and knows what men and/or boys pay attention to. Many will attempt to play that game and I sort of have a story of that well I probably already shared an example of that. I don’t know if some of these behaviors are just a matter of being starved for attention or just plain well if women don’t get noticed by men something is wrong or vice versa.

Either way I’m glad she’s making some different decisions about her body. Sadly whatever is out there about her is out there – she did have an OnlyFans page after all. I think what’s worth celebrating is she’s now in the mode of making different decisions than she had when she was younger. Removing tattoos, reversing some cosmetic procedures, and certainly believing in a higher power here’s hoping it proves to be beneficial for her in the long term.

Another commentary on our society and while I’m hardly a strong advocate of this, in my mind the missing component of religion or a belief in a higher power is something that is missing right now.

Back to the virgin beat

I ran into this video on YouTube from a man named Terrell who discusses his background and why he remains a 39-year-old virgin man. He discusses his personal background from his grandparents to his mother – he doesn’t know his father. Then he talks about some trauma – and real trauma things that weren’t OK. To how his grandparents sort of avoiding really talking about certain things with him. To his college years and getting many girlfriends to his relationship with religion. It’s a fascinating background in this man who remains a virgin still.

For those of you who follow me you might be able to tell me best. I don’t recall if I’ve ever told my story. As in why I never had sex or even have any serious relationships with women? My story has always been I’ve often expressed that I wanted to wait until marriage, yet that’s never happened.

Time to get back to the virgin beat!

The snowball

I’ve recently taken one step to get out of debt well the hardest part of my student loan debt.

Since 2017 I’ve yet to get caught up on my student loans as well I’ve hardly paid them since that time. Yes it was possible to pay them off while being out of work from Oct. ’17 to Apr. ’18. The unexpected event of the “Climax of the Reign of Error” caused me to put paying off my loans on a very low priority.

Recently I had a call with the student loan people and one thing I thought was worth discussing was potentially settling those loans. I had my former banker mother on the phone and she largely took over, however, I think I was better off for it. For me the better deal possible to get this done was worth her getting on the line because honestly I have no clue on these matters.

I can tell you about Ramsey’s baby steps or even the debt snowball however negotiating a settlement on any debt particularly loans well not in my wheelhouse sadly. In my head as I was getting the information was that settling meant that I had to pay up in at least 90 days which could be extended to up to six months. I need to have that lump sum ready to go so, unfortunately to settle the loan and for what they want damn near close to up front not doable not with my savings at least.

My thinking I could settle and have up to 5 years – no more, no less – to pay off that settled amount. Well I won’t have five years to do that. Also if I defaulted and I was dangerously close to doing to they could recall the whole amount of those loans and I don’t have it. 😦 So some hard choices to make.

So I get one important debt out of the way, perhaps with whatever contributions my mother offers. I eliminate one major debt in a short time and perhaps have to take a hit as far as taxes and certainly my credit score. However I no longer have to worry about it and that’s something I definitely want. I feel like this debt is strangling me and keeping me from doing the things I really want to do.

Now in the meanwhile I have to make some payments to get my current payments current and I have some time to decide as far as settlement. The number the student loan people were discussing was about 45% of the balance. In my research it was possible to get up to 50%.

The number the account manager was offering went down from the initial number they were able to offer. Could it go down more? Perhaps in the next few months we could get up to 50% of the balance settled. Let me repeat the settlement amount went down a few thousand on the call.

All I can say on this is that we shall see where we are once I’m close to current on these loans!

I must add this video of Dave Ramsey discussing the debt snowball. I think I’ve got a bit backwards at this point as I’m attempting to tackle the biggest debt as opposed to the smallest debt. And I also know that at this point I’m on baby step two. Just remember to keep $1K on the side for emergencies.

Comfort level revisited

I’m going back to a post I wrote two years ago this month and shared on my own facebook page on New Years Day asking the question “How does one get out of their comfort level?”

No easy answers but one simple answer I’ve encountered was to do something that you’ve never really done before. Another interesting answer is why leave your comfort zone?

And then I think about this. I like to talk about how at one point I went from making about $10K/year to $20K/yr. I consider that quite an accomplishment because going through the stagnation of working for minimum wage at The Show to go up about an extra $10/k yr in wages was a come up for me. And on top of that benefits, some paid time off (which I used for going out of town especially) it was a more comfortable position to be in compared with being at a barebones place such as The Show.

One thing I will add is that it’s very easy to complain. I’ve done a fair share of it and to be honest one thing that should sink in is that complaining is an unappealing trait. Sometimes I don’t like it when someone else does it and for me I try to catch myself as best I can. However complaining does no good if you’re unwilling to do something about it. Even if it means you have to, for example, change jobs.

Another aspect of comfort level is dating. And to be honest I’m not sure how to crack that issue. Can’t meet someone at work really because you could risk “creating a hostile work environment”. And meeting someone in public a complete stranger can be iffy also. And online dating well another can of worms explored here, it’s just difficult to really break out there.

I’m also finding that it can be hard to break out at work. You can make one bad impression and it marks you almost forever. Or a change in mgmt can just grind you to a halt as happened at the Hole just about five years ago. It just doesn’t take much although you have to do something about it and for some I’ve met at a job over the years many of their responses is to just move on – and that’s a valid response. It’s what was necessary after great hesitancy at The Show, even if me leaving for Gotham Bank only served to bring me to Fresh Foods.

Two years ago when writing the original post I was thinking about moving away from home and moving to a state I’ve never spent much time in. Or have hardly any connections there, it seems like an exotic locale even if the state in question could really be seen as unexciting and bland. Then again aside from living for many years in a college dorm still trying to get my bachelor’s degree, this is one challenge I’ve never had. And bolstered by one main fact, I work at a fortune 500 company with locations around the country. As long as I have that – and don’t suffer any major setbacks will be a good thing.

However, I feel as if this is the new challenge to break out of my comfort zone. One goal is to make six-figures perhaps make $100K/yr. Perhaps the opportunities are dwindling for that, however, if I can’t break out of my comfort zone I won’t get close.

Family off limits?

I wanted to share this video from a former mobster Michael Franzese. A lot of what he says on a variety of subjects is interesting and even he had to chime in on what happened with Will Smith at the Oscars two weeks ago. I don’t want to delve into this too much although I want to share some thoughts as I watch the video below. You can further check out my thoughts on Will Smith over at Virgin Populist.

Well Franzese discusses the slap at the Oscars and whether or not you should touch family in the comedy aspect. Should Chris Rock have made a joke about Smith’s wife Jada Pinkett? Well my story doesn’t exactly rise to that level and I’ll explain.

During the “streak era” Anthony and I were talking one day at work and he decided to make a comment along the lines of “I just knew there was a problem when your mother didn’t try to get you a job at that bank”. One way to look at it, an older man like myself with a college degree working minimum wage at a movie theater this forwarded his idea that I just didn’t belong. To be fair there were others who expressed that opinion whether negatively or even in some respects positively.

My response was more of a deflection than anything only to state that was my decision. It was my decision to work at The Show and it was my decision as far as whether or not I wanted to work at my mother’s bank where she was a manager. And as it turned out later it definitely wasn’t her decision as far as whether or not it was her call alone as far as getting a job at her bank a neighborhood lender close to home.

About a year later, I finally just made the jump and applied got an interview not long after filing application. They still did paper applications which are rare these days. And I didn’t get back to the branch manager who called me right away. When I did it seemed like a brief convo before the branch manager was ready to interview me at her branch located on the northwest side of the city actually it was close to O’Hare airport.

It was a bit of an ordeal to get up there as I still had to depend on public transit while on the way I needed to call the branch manager to let her know I’m running late. I was trying to do the right thing and respect her time and it didn’t matter. I wasn’t getting hired.

The branch manager was a talker who discussed her faith and mentioning God’s will. I tried to explain my lateness and noted that I had to change trains downtown and she questions that. She was already trying to determine if I was lying. Also since she was a talker I just wasn’t in a talking mood either, just ready to get this interview over with. She mentioned during the interview that I was tardy anyway.

The first time I was answering some questions about future ambitions such as mgmt – a usual tactic then for my interviews. She came back with “After coming to this interview almost 20 mins late, I’m not impressed”. The other time she had to ask some hypothetical of whether or not a manager at The Show would rate my on-time performance. She had me take a quick basic math test and while I passed it wasn’t going to matter, she just let me know there were other candidates and we’ll be in touch. Never heard from her again.

Of course I have to note this when I tell this story. Not long after this interview she got let go from that bank. She just got caught up in the changes going on there, I’ve mentioned them here so I won’t rehash.

The point here is whether or not my mother was mgmt there had no bearing on whether or not I got a job there. Yeah, it’s great to have a leg up. At the same time no results from this exercise sadly no job offer and I remained at the cinema until October when I took the teller job at Gotham Bank. It just showed what my dear old fiend’s opinion was worth – a bucket of spit.

I did eventually tell him what had happened. See, during this period he was demanding an answer for what happened with Finer Foods as in this case I was getting some other opportunities such as this bank. At first I told him it was a job freeze as far as finding another job, then later told him it was because my tardiness for interview and what later happened to the hiring branch manager. He laughed at that last point about the branch mgr but thankfully didn’t add any further thoughts to that whole situation.

Either way if you want to know I thought he was out of line for he said regarding my mother. As you may have gathered perhaps you thought this way already or you read along overtime with yours truly that Anthony is opinionated and will cross boundaries accordingly. He will say what he believes is necessary to say right or wrong and in this case he was wrong.

Only he knows what he was trying to accomplish with his crack about my mother and the bank. Perhaps he wanted me to believe she failed to help me out as her son who was forced to accept a job working minimum wage at a cinema and the job wasn’t quite working out. Or perhaps he wanted to work me up about where I was anyway and where I should have been in his opinion. Who knows however whatever motives his conjecture regarding me or my mother was not really his to make. He also never any further comments along these lines after that.

As it turns out if it was simple in his head, it really wasn’t in reality as it didn’t work out for me. The whole attempt at working in banking didn’t work out for me as you know with my brief experience at Gotham. And if the neighborhood bank had worked out for me in a few years time perhaps it is possible that I’d be looking for another gig anyway.

And bear in mind once I found another job quickly after leaving Gotham he tried to $h!t on the move to a grocery store anyway he was still determined to tell me that I’d have been off being a personal banker. However, by that moment I was down on working at a bank and became excited about my next move which proved to be a better one.

Final lesson for yours truly. Be careful of what I say about my background. You never know how someone will respond to that information. They may decided at some point to treat you with hostility. Also I could’ve really let him know that his comments about my mother are out of line even if this was constructive criticism.

And in line with my attempt to work for the neighborhood based bank, I only went for it because I was ready to leave The Show. That was true for quite a few interviews I had from 2012 to 2014 and some of them I was more excited about than others. At the same time, was I entirely sold on working for a company where my mother was a mgr? Not at all and thankfully I wouldn’t be working directly for her as her being my mother could often be difficult enough…

Regardless Anthony’s comments were out of line and whatever perceived issues there were are only between my and my mother alone. And of course in light of my change of perception of our “situationship” thank goodness for her!

Nightcrawler

At some point when I was briefly at Gotham Bank I went to the cinema and saw Nightcrawler. I found some aspects of this picture disturbing as it dealt with a man who had very little scruples when it comes to achieving his objectives. I made an off comment about one aspect of the picture to me former friend the Fiend although in some respects this movie could be about him

Well long story short is that Lou Bloom starts the movie off trying to steal a little bit of a chain link fence so he can later sell for scrap metal. He had to dispatch a security guard because he was determined to get some of that scrap metal. Anyway at some point he sees some stringers filming a car accident on an expressway which gives him his next idea for him to make a living.

A stringer is a freelancer who provides in this case video for a TV station to use. Lou buys a cheap camcorder from a pawn shop after stealing a bike and he’s off to the races. He encounters a news producer named Nina with whom he later threatens to withhold his content unless she goes out with him. And it’s implied that she ultimately does far more than go on a date with him. I did tell you this man has very little scruples.

Anyway we see him sabotage a competing stringer and then he hired an intern whom he gets killed because his intern recognizes how corrupt Lou Bloom is. The end of the story shows Lou very triumphant now he has a whole team operating as stringers.

Now my comment to the Fiend was in relation with Lou and Nina. A lot of things should make your skin crawl about this picture and that situation ought to be the main one. He essentially gets his needs met with her under the guise of a business relationship . So my comment which I won’t repeat was along those lines, perhaps my thought process should’ve been how many men out there are like that and then how many women fall for it.

This is one movie that should help you realize what types of people are out there. If you see a Lou Bloom coming, avoid him at all costs!

Allow me to share this video which more or less confirms my worst suspicions about this fictional character.

Faith

In the early days of this blog I approached discussing my virginity in rather idealistic ways or perhaps the reasons for it. It could be a combination of moral – even if I don’t practice a religion or it could be lack of opportunity or it could just be I can never get with the process of requesting dates. I could even say that it seems for some women dating could become a drawn out process to the point where a prospective man just says never mind. Or perhaps as could be if a guy isn’t picking up on a woman’s hints she might just go with a guy who does or even a give who gives her attention.

Anyway I’ve been thinking about religion a lot lately and it could be a passing interest. However my background is that I’ve never joined a church. My dad had joined a few years before he passed away and my mother for whatever reason never has joined a church. We might go to different church services over the years especially in my youth and usually I associate that with “dressing up” and having to clean up in order to go to church. In some respects I’ve never really enjoyed that.

At the same time I have gotten older, still a virgin and I really don’t have a religious reason for remaining this way. I always felt as if not wanting to have sex until marriage made sense, perhaps on occasion I feigned religious reasons even if that wasn’t entirely correct. Still I believe no sex until marriage made sense and even with what I’ve experienced in recent years I still believe it makes sense.

Why would I want to have sex to satisfy someone else who should really have no concern over it? That means to satisfy my social group I’d have to do it with anyone just to satisfy their odd mentality with regards to getting laid. I don’t think that’s healthy especially if the other person comes to the realization that you’re using them for their bodies and that’s all. It makes sense to me therefore that I really want to like who I’m being intimate with.

So the video above I’m sharing is because it’s of interest to me currently. Is the answer to me being a virgin is to for example adopt the Catholic faith or any faith for that matter? Perhaps I join such a large community and ultimately find a wonderful Catholic lady with whom I can start a family. Also allow me to add I can further say if I had a faith, I can say my virginity is for religious reasons.

What’s wrong with respecting your own body? What’s wrong with being picky about who you might choose to share your body with? And what’s wrong with doing that only with someone you care a lot about?

Anyway here are some topics of discussion for other posts.

• Jack V desires a family but what does he really think about becoming a father?
• Jack V has met people who shows disdain toward him for not getting laid what does this say about them?
• Jack V believes no sex until marriage makes sense but then why is that?
• Jack V wonders is it possible to just pick a faith and stick with it?

Those posts and other regularly scheduled programming coming soon….

October 2014

I wrote a version of this post back in 2017 and find myself very dissatisfied with it. So I will rewrite it with a very different focus.

October has proven to be an important month and seven years ago it represented a transition from my job at The Show to another job at Gotham Bank. It was a long time coming after two years of job hunting with some starts and stops and frustrations. At this point my search for a job offer was finally ending.

The situation at the cinema was mellow for the most part. Well almost as there were still odd conflicts though once I did turn in my two weeks things calmed down. Some of the mgrs I seemed to have not done very well with even started talking to me again. Were they glad I left for something better? Which is strange, wouldn’t they want to be rid of me? Some of them acted like it!

The coworkers I didnt get along well with – often teenaged girls or the meangirls of $h!tplace – gave me some distance expressing their silent disdain. That’s OK perhaps one day they’ll get the job that they want. Perhaps they need to find out how to get along with people better.

I had a list of things to complete before I finally started on my first job at the bank. To be fair it didn’t start off very well and set the tone until what would happen in December. At the same time there was some excitement or at least that’s what I wanted to feel about my next move at that time.

Who am I kidding? I was apprehensive about this move. It was time to move on from The Show, however, perhaps I was unsure about this. Perhaps I didn’t really want to leave the cinema. Isn’t that strange to not want to leave a place where you were so frustrated, miserable, or sometimes isolated? Yeah it was but then some things to consider.

First off I’d be working closer to home as opposed to near the vibrancy of downtown Chicago. Not to say that was a problem, however, it wasn’t ideal. My four interviews with different Gotham branches three of them were at branches in or around downtown and who hired me the one branch near my part of town. In a neighborhood that was sketchy, in fact a neighborhood where Anthony’s martial arts school was. It was a culture shock to actually work at that branch and experience the slicksters, the problems, well things you expect working with the public. Now I’m really responsible for the money.

Though in my optimism if I could make it at that branch on the south side perhaps I could make it anywhere. Perhaps even go to the main branch in downtown which I learned intimidated the temperamental supervisor Minnie at my branch. Ugh it just didn’t take too long to realize this wasn’t working. My mother’s job was nearby at the time sometimes after work I would hold up in her office and sometimes I run into her colleagues who would note my banking job trying to encourage me. I just wasn’t feeling it…

Meanwhile at The Show as I get on-boarded and do training off site from the branch. I was working my last few days at the cinema. A long time in coming – the victory lap was ending and my last day ever as an employee there.

Once the training was over I went to the cinema closest to where I would be working in the future at the Hole. The picture I saw on that evening was Dear White People. It was an entertaining satire that I enjoyed and a great way to bookend the most interesting era that I was finally leaving behind.

I was leaving behind The Show and I was leaving behind the Streak Era.

Allow me to share Time from the film Inception soundtrack. It’s a great track which could work with this story I just told. Inception was shown during my first year at The Show and is legitimately one of my favorite pictures of all time!

Psychology

I’ve had to rewrite this post several times and to be honest it just seems to be a longer post for someone who is no longer considered part of my future. I met the Fiend a decade ago and my “situationship” won’t just be characterized as hell it was just a situation. The situation was just to his liking and he helped created it and yours truly just fell in.

I’ve been told that the Fiend is something of a narcissist. Well I don’t have the means, training, or ability to diagnose him as such. Some aspects of his behavior seems to inform of a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist spectrum. For my own purposes his behavior fall in the line I usually just stop at which is a user.

I do think he looks for people he can get something off of. If you remember he’s said to be engaged to be married. In my humble opinion he does seem to place a lot of value on sex. He wants to know when you lost your virginity and me not having much success or even seeking much success in that area it seems on some level he looks down on me for that. And that’s just a start to perhaps his real feelings about yours truly.

I wish it hadn’t took me this long to recognize that in some way his true feelings about Jack V were never good. It causes me to dispel the notion that we were ever friends. The fact that we even got close was because more than likely there was something in it for him. It could be a ride home or money from me for his needs.

It hits me that I can call him the Hustler because he wanted something. The Fiend is everything else perhaps his reasoning for why he had such a low opinion of me in reality. There were times he told me that he liked me personally and on the other hand he outrights lets me know his true thoughts about me. His true thoughts let me know that he looks at me in the worst ways.

I feel as if I encountered such behavior before perhaps in school. The Fiend will just discard you until you’re needed and it’s not about a final score. Perhaps that’s why when I started my blackout, he continued to try establishing further contact. I’m sure in spite of his negative notions about me, he just had a problem with me not responding to him. Perhaps it was my duty to respond when he comes calling.

Just consider a post I did earlier this summer hearing about him really talking about yours truly to another ex-coworker. He’s probably upset that in his words with no contact that I just dropped him.

Another way of looking at this is that perhaps the negativity he drops onto yours truly is really the negativity he feels himself. This same coworker believes the Fiend has some of his own issues with self-hate. Perhaps he hates his own background (possibly racial), has his own inadequacies (sexual or financial) or just hates his situation in general. All I can say at this point is that all of them are only his problem as far as Jack V is concerned.

I’ve been hearing that the wedding for the Fiend is now off because he couldn’t help but cheat. Not sure if this can be verified independently, however, if that’s truly what’s going on it’s no surprise. Anthony did show that he has a roving eye drooling over women he views as attractive. He states matter of factly how he can manipulate women into having sex with him – like it’s normal – and he portrays himself as not above satisfying his needs with women who are already in a relationship.

Also stated before I just don’t think he has any true idea about being in relationships romantic or friendship. I do think he’s a user whether for material things or just to satisfy his own needs. Beyond that perhaps it’s possible that in reality he’s just a lot more lonely than he realizes.

Oh yeah forgot one final piece to his psychology. Dominance and control are my favorite two terms as part of his fiend persona. One time we were talking and I got smart with him and he raised his voice with “DUDE!” because while I have to tolerate his personality he often can’t seem to tolerate mine. And his next statement was “If you don’t do it to your mother don’t do it to me.”

That was something when he feels as if I’m out of line he started saying. If you don’t do it to your mother why would you do it to me. My response was exactly how I began to read it.

“You’re not my dad” I responded. And he gets defensive saying “I didn’t say that”. The bottom line is that his personality quirk of dominance dictate that I have to treat him as if he was above me. I’m his lesser than and he more often than not conducted himself accordingly with yours truly.

And I consider that fact kind of hilarious when I recognize now that in the very beginning he chased me down and not the other way around. He gave me a reason to steer clear and he continued to come around until he got what he sought. And I didn’t do much pushing back even when knowing what he was doing.