last week we had an unexpected visitor, my aunt who is a former military officer visited our house. no call no indication just showed up at our doorstep to surprise my ailing mother. she had a new husband in tow with her.
i was less than thrilled. all i know was when i heard some other voices upstairs it was at WTF. when my mother had a moment she let me know who was in and told me that she doesn’t like these unannounced visits. another aunt has that unfortunate tendency, she just likes to show up whether one likes it or not. although at least to be fair she was also up in chicago this weekend and at least we knew she was in town and to expect her to come over.
as it turns out her new husband is a brother to my aunt laura’s husband. and he’s also talkative with me expressing little interest in interacting he did try to reach out to me.
laura’s husband is a talkative man with a southern drawl. i can say the same for – let’s give her a name – claudine’s new beau. he doesn’t have a southern drawl although he does have a girth like laura’s husband. for some reason laura’s husband has rubbed me the wrong way in a similar way that laura has and it could be said i rub laura the wrong way with some of my behavior.
anyway it was an interesting couple of days. claudine has little problem approaching me and trying to converse with me even if my answers have been very curt towards her. even better most of the time she was there i kept to my zones away from the socializing. she didn’t appear to object although in the past she might make some things clear. for example once i was in my room and she made special emphasis that everyone else was in the living room. in other words i need to be in the living room….
of course her military behavior had rubbed my mother the wrong way – they are close. the newly wed couple had it in their mind to bring my mother to georgia with them when they left saturday morning, my mother wouldn’t agree to it. my mother moved too slow for them so claudine kept dropping hints to get ready and it doesn;t help that my mother still has lingering issues involving that compound fracture.
but those interesting last two days were over rather quickly on saturday morning. they hit the road while i was off to work that morning.
btw, as another aside this is what my aunt tends to do. she assess the situation she’s what i’m doing for example watching tv, “what are you watching?”. i was about to say some cop show, she quickly says “CHiPs”. yup that’s what it is. she’s always been that way i quick a quick half-answer and then she quickly fills in the blanks.
perhaps an example that she’s into making small talk. depending upon the person i don’t share that interest.
i’ve been particularly bad with online dating. the way i see it this is something always done with fb with no levels of success. that is i never had the opportunity to connect with the women i wanted to connect with.
for example, perhaps i wanted the true babes so to speak. the beautiful women but either they weren’t interested or attracted to me or i was too late and they’re with someone. and sometimes on my own, i don’t always come off well.
recently i was on the phone with a matchmaker and irony of ironies i met this person via tinder. a dating app used for business purposes that shouldn’t be allowed :P.
anyway after trading messages for about a month i finally connected and we talked for a few minute she set me up a profile. i expressed interest in possibly image coaching which is something i need. and while being added to a database, it’s fine if i can become a client at some point and hope to meet someone who wants what i want.
of course my interest is in having a family i made that clear. my life goals aren’t as clear although i’ve expressed a desire to move up where i am now and perhaps move on to something entrepreneurial – such as real estate.
as for the person she wants to match me up with well she doesn’t live nearby and she’s older at 37, but i’m open. the reason i’m open is because i need to get out there and start meeting these women. unfortunately it’s difficult for me to get out here and meet these women even to just approach them cold.
believe me it’s possible to make a connect as a service worker. there are a good number of women who are seen during the course of a shift and to stay professional as you never know what’s going on in anyone’s head at any time. believe me there have been some odd situations with customers.
either way perhaps if i continue doing this i’ll be comfortable with the idea of dating and hopefully i can find what i’m looking for. perhaps i’ll find this young woman who’ll be the mother of my children and will be an awesome wife. and now it’s possible for me to enter the dating world.
let the matchmaking commence…
financial – i want to continue as much as possible what i have been doing for the past 4+ years. continue to save money once it was between $25 or $50 per paycheck and these days i often save about $75 per paycheck. i also have a 401k so i also resolve to pay attention to those assets which are important for the day i’m ready to retire and i hope that’s years away. if i keep saving i’ll be ready for this next step.
transporation – i’m a creature of public transit and don’t see that changing in the near future as long as i live somewhere with a decent system. one way to be mobile and go places where i want to go that isn’t easily accessible by public transit is to have a car. it’s probably the first investment i can make and hopefully i can find something to pay cash with and hopefully not wipe out a significant amount of my own savings. and this investment i can put forward on another vehicle at the right time.
real estate – to start i would like an apartment this year finally move out on my own but that is only a start. my ultimate goal is to own a home, hopefully several piece of real estate around the city and hopefully in part of town that are expected to grow in the future. one pipe dream in a place with low property values to custom build a home of great architectural significance. but that means i better have some cash put away so that i can afford that.
travel – last year i went to a reunion on the west coast. 2017 hopefully i can find somewhere to go that i’ve never been. just spend a weekend there. as long as i have the financial resources to do that it’s something worth doing.
work – i want to get promoted at work. i have been lucky to have gotten promoted to full-time at my current job in 2015. as of now i want to get into a leadership role and hopefully there are two possible paths whether or not i stick with the grocery store or i go back to the movies. in the latter case i have to return to the company i had worked with for 7 months and it was a great period of time, but due to my schedule i couldn’t do both when i finally quit. time to come up with a good plan for that…
hobbies – i’m big on photography mainly streetscapes and architecture. not only that i like to take video though at this time it’s most on my smartphone. i need to change that and go back to using a real camera or camcorder. hell, i’ve thought about going to my local cable access studios and taking some classes in tv production. it would be cool to take a hobby to another level and share with the general public. perhaps become a side hustle
love – as always it’s a long term goal and few prospects. thing i must figure out is how to change this. while i am a virgin it’s not just sex i want. although i’ve entertained the idea of having sex with a dear friend who cares about me it’s still important to make that connect with a woman who wants to be with me. that’s far more important than to just lose my virginity. of course the main goal is marriage and i hope i can find someone who doesn’t want to waste time in going in front of the justice of the peace for example. perhaps this is something – to find that special woman – that i really want and need to crack. where do i start aside from online dating (which will be the subject of a future post.
the first night since my mother returned for her extended stay for further treatment in the hospital for her compound fracture was spend basically driving around. i went to a nearby outpost of my store where i saw my boss unexpectedly. he’s filling in for his counterpart there as i heard unforeseen circumstances seen that individual stepping aside temporarily.
he introduced me to one of the assistant dept. managers there who likes employees who are versatile as i am. that felt great though for me i consider myself at times understated.
i wanted to buy a live xmas tree but didn’t see a small one that i wanted to buy. it helped me not buy anything but as i visit my mother in the hospital i’m sure there will be other opportunities. will have to find that live tree elsewhere.
my mother told me before dropping her off at the hospital that my brother is coming to town for only the third time since her surgery over the summer. and then one of her sisters from out of town is coming also. both i dread but at the same time it’s expected that they may not have to come to our place therefore i don’t have to play host.
in the meanwhile back at home, i reclaimed some of the reusable grocery bags that my mother decided will become storage bags. i replace them with plastic garrett’s popcorn bags that i have accumulated over time. and now i have a reliable collection of small reusable bags to draw upon.
also i’ve been doing some cleanup, the medical professionals that my mother is working with expect a somewhat clean house when she returns. i had started before she finally checked in will continue to do the job when i’m able to schedule permitting. i’m in the process of doing some clean-up in her room and in the upstairs bathroom. the bathroom would need a good cleaning at least.
btw, why do i have that video up there? a track from 2016’s Batman vs. Superman movie. it fits my mood right now, but then when i talk about “the show” it on occassion fits my mood with them also. funny part is that well i was long gone when i left and the movie premiered in fact i was at the “new show” when that film was released. either way it fits my mood right now as for different reasons i’m at home alone again!
my mother told me she’s going back to the hospital. over the last few weeks she had been undergoing procedures to set her up for another procedure which involves bone marrow and blood plasma. this isn’t surgery where she will be under anesthesia, however, she’ll still be gone for about 10 or so days.
recently, she spent overnight at the hospital because a “portal” placed on her for the coming procedure caused some bleeding and they needed to give her some sutures. i was a little frustrated and she likely was also because a lot of waiting on her part. in my case i was waiting because they needed someone on ready especially if she’s not 100% and often that person was me.
i’ll be alone at home for 10 days and i’m unsure what to do. if i had those kinds of relationships with women one could stay home with me during those days where my mother’s gone. however, it does seem a little unseemly doesn’t it or not when i’ve had that type of relationship and she doesn’t mind it.
i’ve begun to realize as much as my personality has been described as a loner, i don’t like being alone in a not so big house. it is really important for me to share my life with someone and often skirted this for a number of years. just not sure how to start on this when i should’ve started at least in my teenaged years.
to be sure this is the worst time for me to think about these things. my mother is undergoing her own health challenges with the issues involving a compound fracture in her hip/thigh area. but i have a place to stay and no one by myself for the time being.
also, i’ve struggled with the idea of being a part-time caretaker. thankfully she’s largely able to take care of herself and when she finally comes home there will be people coming over to keep an eye on her. i literally don’t relish having to be in that role and sooner or later this has to be communicated. this is only because i’ve finally gotten to the point where i want to actually live life and if i don’t do it now it’ll just get much harder.
the idea has crept in my head that it’s time to move. i’ve spent most of my life at home and then going to the liberal arts college, but it’s time to be in my own place. unfortunately i’ll still likely be alone, but it’s past time. it helps that i’ve finally found a job where i can make good money and grow after almost 5 years at the stagnant minimum wage. i saved enough money where i can do that and perhaps still get a little car.
in the meanwhile how can i possibly manage being at home by myself while my mother is away at the hospital. also it’s very important that i hope for the best as always!
what do you do when trouble finds you?
so anthony an old friend i worked with at “the show” has talked me into taking some martial arts lessons. as much as i would entertain boxing as a martial art of choice he suggested karate. he suggested a place off the beaten plain in a sketchy neighborhood. another school he knows about was blown off because it would be too rough for me as a beginner.
perhaps i can train to be batman, but in this case i’m not training to fight for justice. instead i’m training to fight for myself more than anything. so far i know how to be mostly defensive just try to see any potential trouble before it becomes trouble. but even then you come ready when you just can’t ignore it.
another activity worth starting is exercising. at this moment just stretching, walking, push-ups, sit-ups, etc. beyond that just join a health club and keep myself in shape. i’d rather be a slim senior citizen then a slightly pudgy one because while i was younger i didn’t really do much to maintain my body.
as much as i enjoy working at a grocery store i still haven’t gotten a handle on eating healty. as much as i enjoy having a sweet-tooth I have to cut down on them and focus on much more healthier meals. perhaps doing some physical fitness would do me some good. even better i can afford it now so it can’t hurt.
A few days ago I ran into one of the many young women I only know through fb. We’ll call her Andrea and who knows where she had been coming from but we ran into each other in downtown Chicago. She apparently recognized me as someone from our respective colleges – i.e. I attended that liberal arts college & she attended the all-girls college.
To be honest it caught me off-guard so I didn’t adjust accordingly. Andrea is a petite woman with full lips and on this day sporting braids. She said she was in town from New York visiting family. She is originally from Chicago and said she’s staying at a nearby hotel at least until the weekend.
When she saw me I was just leaving the movies nearby and told her what I saw weirded me out. It was funny but just weird. She was aware of another movie of local interest about the Obamas and their love story. Sorry to have disappointed her but I didn’t go see it.
Either way we had a nice chat and spoke of finding my way to New York to catch a tv taping in future. Possibly SNL although I no longer consider myself a fan of that program but something worth doing absolutely. Other than that I suggest we keep in touch through fb and we parted.
Also should be noted that we had over the years talked to each other on fb. Sometimes it’s as much sizing each other up more than anything but sometimes my idea of being a potential match is funny. Perhaps I’m looking for pretty girls who won’t give me the time of day.
Either way just for an exercise what if I chose to pursue this young lady?