Straying

You know I should have more to say about this. A site where people can pursue infidelities. Even took a survey at this place and got accepted.

Problem is as a single male virgin is this an option to pursue. I’d feel quite dirty and I’d want a lasting connection (which ought to be the subject of a post in the future). Hard to have one with someone who is already attached and it would be hard for me to even consider dating a woman who already has a family. It seems like the type of drama I’d rather avoid.

Anyway other than the internal dialogue I have express with you, the article in fact talks about why more women these days are straying. Having known men who chase p*$sy and never seem to seek a lasting relationship with women I think I’d have a hard time respecting anyone who is willing to cheat on their “partners”.

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Pondering…

man and woman eating ice creams

At the new job there had been women I have been paying attention to. In my case, it just means I could be looking at them with longing. I like looking at attractive women and imagining how I could shoot my shot with them. Of course the possibility is still they may look at me and discern some details and decide “there is no there, there”.

As with my former job at “The Hole” the new store has folks in the neighboring dept who are attactive kind of like Mary if you remember her. Of course for the most part no one with those “crazy vibes” however some of the women who work in that dept has my attention and they may even somewhat know me.

The cutest one who has my attention we’ll call here Charlene over the summer likes to come in an pair of Birkenstocks and then change over to her work shoes. She very shapely and one thing about her makes me somewhat unsure, she has a piercing on her face. Not a disqualification, but it might give me pause. Regardless she’s a beautiful woman and hell yes I’d like her hanging off my arm.

One of her coworkers I could describe as Irish, we’ll call her Gabby who is generally a curvaceous woman. She would refer to herself as a “fatass”, however, I don’t view her that way. She just has some junk in the trunk and she seems to carry it well. Also very nice, but not as attractive as Charlene. Still I could imagine myself dating her.

Another one still was often in the background and the first to go by the time the rest of the store gets going in the morning. I never really talked to her she seemed very introverted and if my gaze meets her I often don’t get friendly vibes. She eventually left the store to go to another “Fresh Foods” store so at this point I’ll never know if I could “shoot my shot”. To describe her physically she seems like a tomboy she wasn’t like Charlene or Gabby as far as attractiveness. Somehow she caught my eye and then I though what if I tried it with her.

In my dept, there aren’t many young women I could try anything with. We acquired some college aged associates over the summer and one of them I worked with at “The Hole” two summers ago. Let’s call this young woman Val, and two summers ago her schedule seemed inconsistent as it seemed one week she was off the schedule the next week she was back. It’s like she quit for a moment and then turned around and she’s back on the schedule. I didn’t get it, but then again at the time she was seasonal so unless she wanted to stay there was a possibility that once August or September rolled around she’d be out!

Anyway this summer she seemed to have some very late days. When the night shift normally starts at about 3 PM she might start at 5 PM. And on weekends she might be able to come in at 11 AM. Either way Val remembered me from “The Hole” and in talking I found out that when she giggles she “snorked”, if there was an attraction that took it away real quick. Otherwise I would say she was very young, tall with curves in the right places. Though with youth had the tendency to be volatile with other young coworkers. I found out later she quit out of the blue after almost three months, however, she came into our store letting us know belatedly that she had just left an interview. What can I say she’s young, she just quit a job and then started interviewing…

One more and she’s probably closer to me in age than most of the ones I talked about here so far (I’m guessing she’s in her 30s to possibly early 40s). She doesn’t really speak to me, and like with that other background girl it’s something I’d probably have to initiate. She works in another dept of the store she’s nicely shaped bodywise (hopefully this means she works out). She has these nice grey eyes, and her eyes suggest excitability when they bug out. Those are the types I would stay away from as I could somehow sense they could be into drama, but somehow I want to know what’s going on there.

Of course there are others and most of them are young – yeah I want a young one, however, that’s a hard task the older I get. Most of them work the front end and since they’re young I’m not as sure of them. Then again this is probably the time to pursue them before they can quickly damn a man for being worthless. However once I go through the young women in the front end, this post would get much longer than necessary.

So what have I learned? This is somewhat related and something that I have always figured. I seemed to have issues with connecting with women I like (or better yet attraction). There are some women I’ve become friendly with and unfortunately the attraction from me isn’t there. However there have been a precious few that there could be attraction. What’s vexing to me has been if I can somewhat make friends with women it’s easier if there is little to no attraction. And I’ve yet to find a woman whom I could be friends and felt that attraction.

Remember “Hugs” from a few years ago? She’s one example and  what stopped yours truly from taking his shot  was knowledge that she has a boyfriend to whom she’s now married. What I like about her was that she was the nicest and sweetest woman I knew at that point. I would like to find women like her, the question is if I shoot my shot would my relationship with her work. Is there a way yours truly could screw it up to the point where she isn’t so sweet to me? I suppose there is always the possibility with any woman with whom I could cross that line!

Either way, I still feel as if the best way to meet that significant other is outside of work. It seems like playing with fire to express interest in a woman whom you work with even if she’s not directly in your dept. It’s better if you leave or she leaves the job and then its worth shooting your shot. Hmmm, there are definitely some shots I’d have taken with some of the women whom I no longer work with, especially if they aren’t attached.

On the other hand, after reading a post about online dating (which I’ve never enjoyed) I began to realize how it’s better to do it organically. Online dating or dating apps are not the end-all be-all when it comes to dating. I really got to figure out how to connect with women in the real world. Problem is, I have yet to come up with a strategy for that, and it’s definitely time to do so.

Interest

man wearing sunglasses reading book on body of water

Today’s post, I thought about this time back during my senior year of high school. I had a young woman in class named Mo who saw that I was reading and expressed interest in a book I was reading.

Mo: Hey! Jack! What book are you reading?

Yours truly: *gets distracted*

– Seconds later –

Mo: Jack! What book are you reading?

YT: *gets distracted*

Oh yes, how did I get distracted. Well easy answer aside from the commotion of high school students is that I had already decided once she got her answer the eyes were going to glaze over and she wouldn’t know or have any interest in the book I was reading. Yeah I saw this coming Mo was our class valedictorian, but from my perspective at our high school it means almost beans. With her as the no. 1 student in my senior class I didn’t view her as particularly smart. If there was anything about her she probably knew what to do to get the grades she came to class did the work and probably was more incurious about the world than I was.

I believe she planned to become an attorney, and unfortunately since we are connected on fb – with no real interactions between us honestly – she fell far short. Not to talk about her negatively, but she did what you might expect someone to do years after they graduate from high school. She got into relationships and if not got married she had children. She probably went to college and dropped out. I found some listings of her at “Hillman College” some time before I arrived on the scene nearby at “Mission College”. So I missed her by no less than two years and again she dropped out although she did attend my community college which, she probably didn’t finish there either.

I suppose if I got into her business – needlessly might I add – her situation may not be that much different from my own at a young age. Had the ambition but no idea how to get there. And perhaps for her more so than me, lacked the drive or even the will to get where she wants to go. I have no idea if she ever finished college, but I would expect that at 18 it was her goal and it seems she never quite got there. Then again I have no idea so anyway let’s round that long ago inquiry up…

Mo: Jack! What book are you reading?

YT: Primary Colors

Mo: *eyes glazes over* ok

I’m sure in her mind if she thinks of primary colors – hopefully she paid attention during art class – it’s probably blue, red, or yellow. What she may have failed to find out that the book I had been reading was based on the 1992 Democratic primaries. It’s ripe with political intrigue and infidelities like the real life personalities the book was based on. Too bad she chose not to follow-up since it seemed she was just determined to get an answer to an inquiry she really had no real interest in. Almost reminds me of some of the young women I met at “The Show”, say like a Candice the behavior could indicate a need for attention and once they get it they’re good. And if they didn’t well there’s a problem.

Chances are – as I could honestly go on and on about a subject that interests me – if I explained the premise of the book she still wouldn’t be that interested. I suppose for a lot of the people I went to school with years ago, what interests me may not interest them. Perhaps if I had interest in science fiction like Star Wars it would be a small amount who went to high school with me that would have the interest. Science fiction is for nerds when we need to get with the cool pop culture of the late 1990s from gangster rap to gangster movies to well you name it. Whatever the so-called cool crowd was into.

And to break it down further how many young women I would’ve met back in high school shared some of my interests. It would be hard to find one into Star Wars – or resort to calling me a geek because she had no interest in it. It would be hard still that I could find one who was into pro-wrestling or even computers – not that I would expect any woman who’d have the interest in computers I did at the time. Most young women probably knew that the young men were into sports and many if they wanted a boyfriend had to resign themselves to that reality. I just suspect that many of them would be generally dismissive if a man had some outside interests or hobbies other than them.

I’m probably speaking to the choir on this, but in analyzing some of the women I had worked with over the years – especially the rambunctious young teenaged and twenty-something women at “The Show – I realize they have no idea about relationships with men. Most of this is owed to age – and conversely men have not a lot of ideas about relationships with women other than the sexual. And again if you want more than just sex then you want a relationship and you have to learn to keep someone around to make it work.

Of course if you choose to bicker with or dismiss the interests of your partner for no good reason then what do you expect when they decide to leave. It’s something even with my lack of experience in relationship that I struggle with. I want a woman who’d have some interest in what I’m into and hopefully I can reciprocate that. What I would find absolutely ugly is a woman who seems to have contempt for what I’m interested in. My philosophy if you want to be with someone it definitely helps if you’re willing to share their interests.

Cynical

Excuse me for scoffing at this article and confirming for me that women will fall for anything. According to her this man had a plan and eventually realized his ambition. And at that, I will admit he took a risk in quitting his full-time job for his dream.

The yeah right about this is this woman who says she’s quite a catch based upon her job and career she found a man without the good job. He was living in his car and his only employment is an internship pursuing his dream job. I’m happy for this guy for pursuing his dream but now I question if he found the right woman.

Could this be frustration? Could this be that I had nothing to attract a woman with this young lady’s background to me? Can women truly fall for dreamers who only “arouse” their interest when it seems they’re close to reaching them?

This reminds of the movie “True to the Game” that I talked about a while back. A young woman who otherwise knows better to mess with a gangster brother, messes with him. She lives with him and unfortunately is a target of some rivals on the streets. A fictional example of how it seems women will fall for anything.

MGTOW Virgins

 

Earlier this year I wrote about MGTOW so now I’m somewhat getting back to this. Another brave man shows his face admitting that he’s MGTOW Messiah and a 38 year old virgin. He wants to break down some of the stereotypes. He said this was a choice and it’s not a matter of not being able to get some p***y.

To speak for myself as a man who is in the same boat as him, even though I hit a bump in the road last year I finally got myself in the position where I could do some things. Perhaps take a vacation or take up a hobby or perhaps even start off a side hustle and make even more money. When it came to women I had been in the doldrums because I wasn’t make enough money and had very little going for myself.

Even had someone like Anthony who just took a serious issue with the fact that I work with a number of women whom I could be trying to talk to. It seems to him I’m just not interested and sadly he won’t accept that for a great many of them that I really wasn’t interested. In some instances I literally blew it by some of my actions though in others some of their actions made it very easy for me to stay away from them.

All the same I like “Messiah’s” style just do you own thing and go your own way. In my case as stated already I long for that special person to come around. Just hope I’m open enough to “shoot my shot” as it were. Though as is the case for the formerly unfortunate male virgin I may need to find a strategy away from online dating. It hasn’t worked for yours truly either!

She Will Resist

I think once anyone decides they’re entitled to sex should realize this is the price. She will resist you, no harm in this. The key is to not allow this to become a problem for you. Of course also realize when you won’t have a chance.

PUA Lifestyle

It’s a woman’s job to resist your advances. It’s your job (the man’s) to try to break through that shit. You even see that daily in the animal kingdom: the feline resists the male cat by hiding and fighting. The mare horse (female) kicks, bites and runs from the stallion [so as donkeys]. The bitch puts up resistance against the male dog.

This is seen all throughout the animal kingdom. Humans, as advanced beings (mammals), we exhibit the same behaviors as other animals. Hence, the female resists us, she runs from us (physically and otherwise), she fights our advances and she does whatever she can to ward off potential mates (males).

With that understanding, it behooves the shit out of me why men seem to think that a woman playing hard to get is a sign of disinterest. SHE HAS TO PLAY HARD-TO-GET! IT’S IN HER GENDER ROLE AND HER…

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Awkward

I orignally wrote this post back in 2016 and for some reason I took it down. Now it’s back. Of course with some minor edits!
mr-bean-face-703x350This awkward moment I never told until now. Sometime last year at my job I ran into a woman who I had a tendency to poke on fb and messaged once with a tepid thank you reply. I never went got much further than that, but I’m sure I sent a friend request as I often did and got no response and quickly forgot about it.

Not long before I left “The Show” I had ran into her. Found that she had eventually moved to Chicago and she was right in front of me. Being the person who has this great ability to dwell on past events no matter how inconsequential I basically avoided her behind the concession stand as she stood around with a friend. It seems women rarely go out by themselves…

Let’s fast forward a year she shows up in my department one evening before closing and I realize she’s not a shorty. Hoping that my coworker was available to take care of her I grudgingly had to help her. Yup still me dwelling on past inconsequential events.

Anyway she requested some ingredients on an item she had been interested in. Provided those ingredients and then she wanted to sample them before she made her choice. I served her wanted to know if there was anything else she needed offered her a sample and even stated she’s free to sample the next time she dropped by. She just simply stated that she was on a diet before moving on.

Such an awkward moment, but I think it was handled professionally. The dangerous part is attempting to reach out to her and the possibility that now she knows where I work can cause some problems. Thankfully so far I have yet to see her again so that’s a plus.

Forgot to note this connection…this young lady also went to the same all-girls school – Hillman College – as janice, nicole, carina, and jennifer.