Awkward

I orignally wrote this post back in 2016 and for some reason I took it down. Now it’s back. Of course with some minor edits!
mr-bean-face-703x350This awkward moment I never told until now. Sometime last year at my job I ran into a woman who I had a tendency to poke on fb and messaged once with a tepid thank you reply. I never went got much further than that, but I’m sure I sent a friend request as I often did and got no response and quickly forgot about it.

Not long before I left “The Show” I had ran into her. Found that she had eventually moved to Chicago and she was right in front of me. Being the person who has this great ability to dwell on past events no matter how inconsequential I basically avoided her behind the concession stand as she stood around with a friend. It seems women rarely go out by themselves…

Let’s fast forward a year she shows up in my department one evening before closing and I realize she’s not a shorty. Hoping that my coworker was available to take care of her I grudgingly had to help her. Yup still me dwelling on past inconsequential events.

Anyway she requested some ingredients on an item she had been interested in. Provided those ingredients and then she wanted to sample them before she made her choice. I served her wanted to know if there was anything else she needed offered her a sample and even stated she’s free to sample the next time she dropped by. She just simply stated that she was on a diet before moving on.

Such an awkward moment, but I think it was handled professionally. The dangerous part is attempting to reach out to her and the possibility that now she knows where I work can cause some problems. Thankfully so far I have yet to see her again so that’s a plus.

Forgot to note this connection…this young lady also went to the same all-girls school – Hillman College – as janice, nicole, carina, and jennifer.

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Virgins

The Formerly Unfortunate Virgin Male recently had an interview with Eve from her blog Unleashing the Cougar. A comment she made on this blog made an appearance as one of the questions for Tommy (the former unfortunate virgin male) to address to which he gives a pithy answer.

I recommend you read this month’s entry to his blog. It’s spring well he might have more of a spring than I am in Chicago, however, he’s still doing things for his enjoyment. That’s what life is about you have work and then you have play. And as happened with Tommy, things happened for him as he explored on his blog. If you haven’t checked him out lately plz do.

On the virgin front, I haven’t really found many blogs on virgin women. And while it seems far more acceptable for a woman to remain “untouched” if you will some may view it as a little strange especially if you go beyond a certain age. Just take this segment from Steve Harvey.

With this said, even though she hadn’t posted in a while Krysta is a virgin who has a blog. She admits somewhat to why this has happened in this post – I’m an adult virgin. She does in other posts talk about her relationship history and if she’s face with situations such as this, I understand why she remains if you will “untouched”. Perhaps Eve should find a way to be in touch with her.

A bad romance film

Last summer, I saw a movie True to the Game. It wasn’t that good of a film that could be a described as a gangster romance. A young woman named Gina trying to finish college with a major of English literature attracts the interest of a very violent drug dealer Qadir who’s looking to leave that life. Unfortunately something drags him back into it and on occasion Gina is involved (for example kidnapped and held for ransom) and is left screaming when a rival drug dealer looking to make his mark shoots her boyfriend to death.

It lets me know women can fall for almost anything. She was guarded with him at first, however, she valued him for giving her HIS time. Their relationship was passionate with it’s own starts & stops as with almost every relationship. Ultimately before his murder she was ready to tie the knot with him as he attempts to leave the criminal underworld. I was amused when some young woman who was thirsty for him was often blown off until he finally tells her it’s over and was later prevented from confronting him by one of his right hand men.

The story for this film seems disjointed and as a sense of closure part of me wanted to see Qadir’s killer himself consumed by revenge on the streets. Instead we see Gina mourning although she finally has the ability to leave her neighborhood behind after effectively being ejected from Qadir’s fancy house by his distant mother. It was troubling to me that Gina’s family seemed a lot more accepting of Qadir even if they knew what he was doing. perhaps that’s just reality.

I hated this movie, because I hate the idea of a woman falling for a man who is a criminal. Of course what she fell for was his soft side, however, if he’s involved with drug dealing he can’t be that soft. In the case of Qadir and Gina it resulted in her kidnapping because his rivals knew how to get to him, and of course as happens in that world you have to find away to “get your lick back” so to speak. Alas the cycle continues until Qadir gets his later.

Also I don’t want to be too unfair here, Qadir has the right to leave that lifestyle. Actually in real life I would root for someone who left the life of crime. I may never view him as an honest man after this, however, it’s a good thing when anyone leaves the underworld so that they can live honestly. I respect that and perhaps I shouldn’t be hard on Gina for choosing to be with him.

Then again at the same time some women like to save men. Bad boys need saving unfortunately it doesn’t always take a woman for a man to decide that it’s time to leave that life. Unfortunately women who want to be the savior get hurt fooling around with those men who are in the underworld. Conversely if an underworld man has a fearsome reputation and likely a lot of money there are women who care little about saving their man but very willing to take advantage of the perks of being an underworld kingpin’s girlfriend.

I know that’s a lot of analysis and most of this has little to do with me. Besides I’m no criminal and have no need to be one. I could whine & talk about girls to start back in my high school days  would overlook me for the thugs. The again at that age what do the girls know – especially if they’ve been exposed to that underworld life.

Regardless my goal with any woman – especially the ones who aren’t of that age where they wouldn’t be influenced by a bad boy or a monied criminal – is to be the best man I can be. I don’t have to be a thug, then again I need not be a nice guy either. Perhaps I can still live my life with conviction and hopefully be with a woman who who respects me and loves me for my honest convictions.

Strategy

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Heh, you know this post could be about finding out what works. Believe it or not I have gotten phone numbers off dating apps. Mostly I’ve been texting with the women and usually nothing pans out. I seem reticent to even ask for dates or even to call these women up. Though as of late I’ve gotten some play with younger women say about 19, 21 or 23.

I’ve taken an interest in a 19 year old girl more recently although she says she isn’t always on the app. I was persistent enough to get a response from her and thankfully she hasn’t cut ties yet – though this means nothing since she could always choose to not respond to me even if she hadn’t unmatched me. Anyway she and a number of other young women on Tinder has thrown this word at me, sugar daddy.

Ah remember that I looked into that and said this wasn’t the strategy for me. I’m nowhere near the income level to become anyone’s sugar daddy. I don’t yet earn six-figures or more to even think I can afford these girls who only want to look at dollar $igns. They want to look fab with nice hair, clothes, shoes, phones and of course taking care of their nails. Sorry young women I’m just not going to be that guy….

Of course I have my idea on how to sidestep that – yeah I may have a high fail rate with this. Perhaps I can be that man who can treat them well whether or not these girls are 18-19-21 or even in their 30s. Maybe I need a woman who’s largely established herself more than anything at this point, however, why not play with these young girls who don’t yet know what they want yet.

Of course why do I expect a fail rate, because some of these girls aren’t yet looking for a guy to treat them well. When you’re young and having fun the last thing that these young people are thinking about is being serious with anyone. They probably aren’t think about marriage and family I would dare say they may not even be thinking about school. With my experience it was something even I took for granted going to school since it was just so expected. If a girl is under the age of 25 she hasn’t figured things out yet to the extend that I probably would like to. I didn’t have it all figured out at 25, actually still haven’t.

I suppose on this front the way I see it, if I spend money on any woman my goal is to keep her. The catch 22 is I can spend all the money I want on her, however, even this won’t be enough. Perhaps I don’t give her enough attention, perhaps I’m too old, perhaps she’s decided I don’t make enough money, etc. Who knows what they excuse could be although I could figure out how to stick them with all the bills if they want to get rid of me!

Though I want to admit that it’s only fairly recently that I began to amass my resources with the job at “Fresh Foods”. Benefits in addition to higher wages, and perhaps in spite of my current situation – which I will continue to update you all – some growth I could continue to make more money and amass more resources. And most of this is mostly benefits yours truly, that’s the only person the resources should benefit. Of course anyone who wants to be part of my ride they can be part of it and it won’t be an “arrangement” for their benefit without me getting something in return.

Though that the thing about sugar babies, they want a man to give and give nothing in return. I’ve met people like this in high school and at “The Show” – I can’t characterize most of them as sugar babies but the mentality isn’t much different. Regardless many of these sugar babies don’t recognize it until their sugar daddy tries to go for something that they were expected to receive anyway.

If you’re asking me how yours truly could handle this situation, all that can be said is that I haven’t figured it all out yet. A young girl over the age of 18 is unsure of herself and I wouldn’t mind being that older man who could show her how she should be taken care of. Then again I realize that I also have to learn – remember my inexperience. My theory on these many women on Tinder is that they may not entirely know how to relate to men and they know men – especially young men their age – have needs. Those needs will ultimately intersect, however, they will have relationships at some point so that’s something they have to learn to navigate without any unreasonable expectations.

When she shoots her shot

One of the guys I met in college shared this song by Alicia Keys “You don’t know my name” on his instagram page. He shared in four parts and in a meme format with the caption “when she shoots her shot first”. Hmmm, then I hear the song and to be honest it struck me as creepy.

Perhaps I’m making more out of this than I should. If the right girl comes along, but you likely don’t notice her so then she tries to get your attention. Why is this, because perhaps she knows she’s interested in you? Perhaps it’s more of a case of she wants to see if you will go for it. Meaning you can either go for it and still be left with nothing or you don’t go for it and you’re an a**hole. Ex: Candice.

All the same this video starts off well enough she uses a business card to contact this man who comes into this diner perhaps for coffee or breakfast. She’s instantly taken with him and sees his business card. She calls him up and strikes up a conversation, strangely enough he never seems to respond and she’s just responding to whatever he says. Wait that doesn’t make any sense right? That’s because at the end of the video even though she’s making out with the man she got in touch with, it turns out it was all a day dream he’s gone from the diner, and she doesn’t realize his business card is in a fish bowl waiting for her to grab it.

See that’s why he never appears to say anything when she talks to him on the phone. She never took her shot it was all imagined. He’s another man whom she may or may not ever see again. I meet a woman like this – who’s very forward and shoots her shot – well I don’t respond to it well. I’m guessing most men won’t for the most part. The reverse happens with men of course, there are women I like upon seeing them – even if I know little about their personality – then I never see them again!

I asked a friend of mine about a video I showed him about those professional women (a production of the now deleted mgtow 101 YouTube channel). There was one woman who was talking to a man – outside of her race – the convo was going well but ultimately they parts and she’s left wondering “WTF happened?”. One of the girls outright suggest that she asks for his number, she says no. It’s hard for her to make that move because women expect to be pursued. And if she did shoot her shot, she could still be seen by a man not used this behavior as a “flake”.

To be honest, I hate the idea of the pursuit. Perhaps it’s easier if say I really was a hunter, which I’m not all the same I have to catch a prey. Perhaps a rabbit or a deer that’s what I call hunting and the interesting part is that you shoot your shot with the prey. Get your rifle make a kill and you have dinner or more accurately that satisfaction of a successful hunt. In this case when it comes to romance, dating, or sex hunting is a little different and the results could hurt your self-esteem. Perhaps no one likes the feeling of not being wanted even in a romantic/sexual sense.

As a guy have to put my feelings in my pocket with a woman of course when things don’t go well and then that becomes hard. It’s always about finding the right woman who suits you best. It’ll never be about a woman who you have to continuously bow down to because she said yes and it’s not worth finding someone who suits you best. Or at least it should never be about that.

With that said everyone is different. A man could give in to a woman who shoots her shot. Perhaps it works out and they have a lasting relationship, which is never a bad thing. On the other hand, you could shoot your shot and force it with the result being a backfire which has happened of course. On the other hand if you don’t try something that enables you to have that relationship bottom line is that you’ll never know.

“MGTOW”

NOTE: I had published this post and then edited it because there was a video here that aptly highlighted my feelings as far as my love life. Unfortunately that YouTube channel mentioned in the rest of this post has been deleted. Perhaps I’ll find that video and post it later, meanwhile after publishing this post and realizing video wasn’t available had to take it down right quick and then edit this post. An earlier video posted here on this channel therefore no longer works as well, shame. In some parts of the internet free speech doesn’t rule anymore. 😦

I’ve been doing some research on “mgtow” or men going their own way for a while since posting that video in december about those single professional women from a YouTube channel mgtow 101. My observation is that many of those men who go their own way have at some point actually been burned by women and this is not something I can safely say. To further clarify perhaps they were burned by women they were in relationships with at some point in their lives.

In my case all I can say is the women who I’ve liked had rejected me with a case in point with Nicole. For the most part my story has often been I’m too slow to make my move and only opens the door to other men to swiftly come & get her. It happens unfortunately though there are other factors that truly lie within self.

As for why I’m interested, I’ve been “mgtow” all my life. I never chased women with very few exceptions, and there have been opportunities that I never took up. Only recently have I got myself into a position where I can do as much focus on self as possible. Still “mgtow” offers something that perhaps I wasn’t getting.

If you remember Anthony, he takes great stock in my hooking up. He really wants me to have some female companionship. When he gets to thinking about nothing else I do in life is worth it if there is no companion in my life. My theory is, he’s lonely himself and often on the prowl but in reality other than his own progeny, there really isn’t a companion in his life. Well there are pics of women he claims to have f***ed, but then to be honest I don’t want to hear it.

All the same, I often stated how once upon a time my virginity was a choice. I didn’t want to have sex until marriage and didn’t want children until marriage. This wasn’t entirely a religious conviction, but certainly something that felt right to me at one point in time. The only caveat is that I never dared to get to know some of the ladies back in high school or college.

Conversely women fought to not have their worth attached to that of a man. And while I also see some aspects of “mgtow” swears off any relationships with women, I generally won’t go that far. If the right woman comes along who suits me best and my mindset is where it needs to be, believe me I’m game.

As of now, my goal just has to be continuing to work on self. If a woman notices not that I’m a hard worker, but that i have some qualities that she’s looking for then I hope to be that man. Perhaps I’ll have that direction she wants to see, perhaps she sees that I want something out of life and wants to be part of it.

Meanwhile anyone who only wants to see me get out there and chase p***y just to say I’ve had a woman are themselves deluded. They seem to have a warped idea of what they want out of life and while it’s OK to live women and want to get with them, they surely want more out of life than attend to the whims of a woman. My goal was never sex even back in the day, I wanted something from a woman it was certainly a connection that sadly I never got. Perhaps it was because I never tried, perhaps my expectations were much more than observing from many of the women I interacted with back in the day.

Meanwhile my strategy as of now is to go my own way. Find the activities and hobbies I enjoy doing and perhaps that woman will emerge who suits me best.

dating advice

on occasion i talked of men that i know of who’s mind is on chasing p***y. for example my friend anthony who does on occasion show me pics of grannies he claimed to have f***ed and done some nasty s*** to. and honestly i don’t want to hear it from him.

now i can’t say for sure that he chases p***y to the extent that mr. wayne talks above. anthony is not the candy and flowers type or at least he never talks about it, he certainly has little problem chasing women though. looking at how he would aggressively “drool” over any good looking woman who crosses paths with him even if he doesn’t talk to them.

as for me, i had attempted to chase p***y on occasion especially back when i was still in college. i really wanted to get with a “hillman” woman although with a select few i’m still in touch with them today. i suppose doing the chasing did me no good, especially with nicole for example. though certainly what must happen to connect with a woman, hopefully she has an attraction for you, and then the two of you are together. perhaps not exactly in that way, but get the picture connect then the magic happens by her actions and certainly by my actions.

hopefully you enjoy this advice