odds & ends

so it starts from roughly now until at the very earliest late september to hopefully early october at the latest “the show” storyline here at feeling no love will draw to a close. there’s not much new in talking about old incidents although until my self-imposed deadline i hope you’ll indulge me.

the individuals i could talk about are largely those whom all merge together with very little to distinguish them. i could write about managers but why and all i’m going to talk about is the complaining and my response to it. largely my response will simply put you to sleep because it’s not like i got into a major slobber knocker. regardless what i would write about or perhaps had written about is so small in the grand scheme of things why even bother?

just as easily as i could tell you the negative the only reason i’ll ever talk about the place where i used to work for almost five years is because something new happened. which is the case you will see below.

* i ran into one of my former supervisors – harve – during the course of the past month – exclusive of running into the house manager after during one recent visit to “the show”. harve got promoted to senior manager recently now he has a lot more pull if you will. i hadn’t always done right by him, but on this visit there i made sure to congratulate him.

i was somewhat there to be nosy, however, for this visit i had a purpose. the theater is located in a shopping complex and i was looking to make a purchase for an office chair at a furniture store. at this point i got to the shopping center shortly before as i turned out harve was about to open the doors for the day. and to think he opened the doors later than usual as from what i remember doors are normally open at roughly 11:30 for the first show at noon during the week.

i congratulated him told him where i worked and told him of my expected promotion without much explanation, wondered how often i was there knowing that i had been a film buff. to be fair perhaps he saw me on occasion outside of “the show” peering in and honestly i like the idea even three years later of being on the outside looking in.

the fact was when harve asked me about coming up to the theater i made sure to note that he knows my history and i’ve largely kept my distance so far. that’s regardless of the fact that on occasion since leaving i’ve made several visits though often rare as they were. regardless my feelings of that place has waxed and waned since leaving and i also realize man of the people whom i had issues are mostly gone having moved on to other opportunities.

i shook harve’s hand after leaving “the show” just after it opened for the day and headed back to the furniture store to go shopping. i made sure to tell him that he got me on social media and we should stay in touch. though now that he’s a big wig of sorts he probably is too busy now!

* before leaving “the show” in 2014 i got an email from another “fresh foods” store in response to an application. i’d have been working front end and although a part-time position – akin to the hours i’d already get at “the show” – it would’ve paid me $10/hr. that was much better than being on $8.25/hr especially if there were no concern for benefits. only thing is i’d have to travel further away from home and of course no set hours which means i’d have to really set a clear path as far as availability.

if i’d have gotten an offer for this job – which could’ve happened at least a month before handing in my two-week notice for gotham bank – it would’ve been possible for me to remain at “the show” and work both jobs. of course the changes that i noticed with some of the more cooler people leaving “the show” – firing or quitting – made it far more easier to call it quits with the theater.

either way little did i know that after chasing jobs – especially banks – that provided some benefits a company like the one that owned “fresh foods” would provide me benefits but only after completing a short probationary period. this would be one selling point to consider looking for employment elsewhere as much as more money would be!

unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be at that time. the front end manager at that store sent an e-mail and it took me a day or two longer to reply. and i got passed over for an interview. i was disappointed, but it was what it was and this was the one time i moved on! as it turns out i’ll have more opportunities with them later.

funny thing about this is i had been trying to get on with “fresh foods” for a while. and it almost seemed as i got more attention from “finer foods” – anthony’s favorite employer apparently – than from “fresh foods”. however at the right time i got the right job eventually.

* finally to sum up. i’ve began to believe long before writing this post that the more sh*t i talked about the place i used to refer to as “sh*tplace” i only serve to curb my own happiness if you will. i can’t appreciate the good that i have now, if i continued to dwell on the bad experiences i’ve had there. at this point it’s more important to remember the positives and certainly what i want to create for myself today.

since leaving “the show” i couldn’t have gone on two vacations within the past couple of years. “fresh foods” and “gotham bank” were the first jobs i had that offered paid time off. at the theater i’d have to request days off and i wouldn’t get paid for them. not cool but those were the parameters. this is just one example.

now i could count on harve as a professional contact. continue building bridges with the people from “the show” whom i got along with best. and of course continue to progress with my work life having been stagnant for so long at “the show”. may i continue to win!

future tense

for the moment i’m taking a brief two post break from my current stream of thoughts. mainly to announce that it’s about time to start retiring as a storyline for this blog anything involving “the show”.img_4541

it’s past time to let that portion of my work life go. sometimes when i do talk about that experience my attitude which i hope to go towards the positive begins to take a backslide to the negative. for a while it took me some time to just finally get some of that out of my system. not that it will ever entirely be out of mind, i just know that some other more pressing issues will take precedence in the future.

if  i ever bring that place up again beyond this month and the next it will only be in reference not to some past incidents but only for something that has happened recently. for example i saw one of the new senior managers open the doors to “the show” fairly recently. he had recently been promoted and i was already in the area as i was shopping in the complex where the theater was located. you will see that in a future post.

perhaps some incidents that i have intentionally left vague will be hashed out a bit more and hopefully not to the point where i will only rile myself up all over again. otherwise no sense in rehashing something that has already happened with no way of changing it. it happened and at this point i should know what needs to be done differently.

someone had to tell me that in some of my behaviors back then i often seek to avoid interacting with the more temperamental and immature of the coworkers i worked with back then. of course with varying degrees of success there were also some failures that resulted in more drama. in other situations where i didn’t avoid those types it just backfired on me regardless and i couldn’t help but feed into whatever preconceived notions they already had.

also as i could state many of these individuals with very few exceptions only merge together with nothing that truly distinguishes them. in many cases the drama they created are really just silly immature drama and the things they want to complain about aren’t much different from all the individuals involved. meaning many of the dramas and the individuals involved aren’t really worth writing about!

as of now the blog needs to go back to some form of positivity. if i stay mired in any negativity from the past, then i’ll be right back to where i was by the time i left “the show”…stagnant and miserable.

it was something of a small victory for me back in 2014 when i finally handed in my two weeks and had a victory lap where it didn’t entirely matter to me who did what. after so many interviews and no job offer it felt great to know that someone was willing to take a chance on me. “the show” kept me in place, but leaving finally assured my future and growth.

this blog will continue to be about my future!

crisis: past tense

Concession Counter at Movie Theater

i began to realize that i was in a bit of a crisis from roughly 2012 to 2014. this was the “streak era” and that crisis involved confidence. some of my coworkers weren’t confident in me because they wanted to create drama and sometimes that drama included me.

often i point the finger at the young girls who created their cliques and targeted people they don’t like. who knows what exactly their purpose was other than to flex their muscles but that’s what it is. the mgmt clique was another group that one had to be concerned about they actually could cost anyone their job and especially if they wanted to trust the accusation of the young clique.

working with people who are quick to throw you under the bus for the least reason causes a crisis of confidence. also, the general atmosphere among associates had been that we’re replaceable anyone could do the job. it doesn’t matter how well one may do the job, their attitude could easily become you may do it well but you’re expendable. when you think about it the cooks from the upstairs lounge learned this attitude and they all just quit, they were tired of it. all our mgmt did was find someone to replace them.

i was never confident that i was doing the job mgmt expected. what i faced is that even though i never got fired the job got done but you run into one person that picks over this & that. perhaps i may not often be a problem however when there is depending upon who’s on duty it gets magnified quick. there was a general issue with morale and mgmt of the time really wasn’t help. it doesn’t matter who you clamp down on!

another set-up when i was working at “the show” i was in my early 30s. just graduated from “mission college” was a bit optimistic about my future. i really believed that my degree would open some doors for me and sadly it didn’t open any during my time at “the show”. bad enough i was working at a movie theater but those who knew i had a college degree found a way to use it as a cheap shot. and towards the end my longevity was used as a cheap shot.

funny part of this story is that i rarely dreaded coming to “the show”, think about it. i had been doing it for five years almost and in some respects there had been far worse periods than the “streak era”. the only time i ever dreaded coming to work was when my brief time went on at “gotham bank”. i really dreaded going to work there until they cut me loose.

the “streak era” crisis was really i couldn’t GET OUT OF THERE. i had already decided i’m not going to leave the show unless i found another job during this period. this was my mindset, me getting fired didn’t enter into my thinking. i went to work with the belief that in order to find another job it was good to be working a job. unfortunately i fill out applications, get interviews and for a good period of time no job offers. essentially the crisis became why won’t employers hire me?

i suppose this is why i may still talk about “the show”. the moment i worked my final shift there really should be the end of the dwelling, but as established with me not so fast. there are plenty of stories to tell from my time. even if many of the people i worked with who caused problems only merge together with no distinctions between them.

now i can say that if yours truly deserved more i’m there now. i got something out of my time there, it helped me get to where i need to be now. here’s hoping i continue to learn these many lessons.

regroup

career-growth

i’m in training for a different position than my current one at “fresh foods”. this is more of an administrative role than a customer service role and as state one that could place me on track for mgmt. this is the growth i often talk about that i missed at “the show”.

for the most part it seems like a smooth transition and it feels strange essentially being the new guy again. the difference this time is basically already knowing the people who i’d be working with. i’m not joining an existing team – or more commonly being part of a new team – with whom i mostly never met before applying, interviewing and accepting a job.

it’s more work than i ever have undertaken in a long time perhaps aside from some of those days at the show where i did really have to earn my meager pay. still worthwhile in the long run.

to explain my work history during my 20s was terrible. although i had attained a college degree, my lack of experience probably would’ve held me back big time. it was easier to get a job in retail and hope for a future opportunity in a field where i attained my degree. that or make enough money to go back to school for an advanced degree.

on this blog i feel as if i spent time badmouthing “the show” or perhaps some of the people – managers and coworkers – i worked with. well what i try to remember was that it was worthwhile to work there almost 5 years while i never before had such solid work experience. working through my frustration during the course of five years there only set me up for today’s growth.

growth is important for this new period i will refer to as “the apocalypse” and my hopes are to achieve some important goals. perhaps as time goes on it’ll be worth sharing them.

younger women at “fresh foods”

mary aka crazy vibes unfortunately i learned was let go from “fresh foods” a few months ago. she had that odd crazy giggle and was pleasing to the eyes physically, but i had decided that she had some issues upstairs. while i personally was attracted to her, her mental state kept me distant.

in some respects she was very nice probably very cool. though because i made no effort to approach here – and there had been many opportunities – there was some distance. i probably never gave her a reason to really bridge the distance in my case i was unsure if i should’ve.

in that neighboring department there was a new young woman – of about 21 – who had been there since the summer. her body type resembles the young lady you see below though she left a lot more to the imagination than what you see here.
29.02.16 - 1

i will call this woman mary jr. she seems a lot more playful – and probably in a less crazy way than mary. she’s thicker, younger, and has caught my eye and certainly the eye of other young men. like mary, junior seems to have a certain distance from me.

often mary jr might send a quick comment my way about my whistling for example – she doesn’t like it apparently. otherwise not much is said by me and typically she doesn’t seem to notice me. i rarely have much to say to her and it might be because there is an age difference and it’s certainly attributable to her playful and youthful demeanor.

as of now however she’s one of the most interesting women i’ve seen at work. my dilemma is how to proceed and i’ve never been very good at that.

part of me wants to resort to the whole anonymous not slipped in her locker and she may want to know who’s interested. i feel as if that won’t go over very well.

i like to think i look younger than my almost 40 designation, however, doing the note thing is really beneath me. would the best move for me who’s never been on a bonifide date with a grown woman – well over 21 mainly – is to be bold? and considering that i’m checking out women at the work place regardless of their age this is something i want to be careful with.

april 2013

Amc-theatre

while i could turn this into an april fool’s post i’m playing this one straight.

in april 2013 i was ready to leave “the show” unfortunately the three early opportunities to have come up for me didn’t pan out. during this particular month i took a test for the local transit authority to become a station agent. it paid much better than the show at least $12/hr part time with benefits. sadly i didn’t get that job, i passed the test but couldn’t connect with them when they called me later.

also the previous month i had gotten a phone call from another theater of this national cinema chain. in february of that year i had interviewed from a theater right off the magnificient mile which did not result in a job offer. this was another fail and was further frustrated by some intervening events.

when they called me it was on a saturday night and at work. i had the next day off and didn’t call and waited until thursday to call them back. the person i needed to speak to wasn’t in, however, i was told in spite of the length of time it took for me to call them back to try back in the afternoon.

my friend anthony wanted me to meet with someone that afternoon though failed to tell me when. basically we spent most of our time downtown hanging out unbeknownst to me. i never told him that i needed to call these people from that national chain. we wound up going to his martial arts school for a meeting that never happened.

so on a friday night i worked early and intended to come home to make that call. except on my way back to the house my mother called me up from work insisting that i needed to go with her to get some bottled water from a neighboring suburb – because chicago has a tax on plastic bottles per bottle even in a pack. when all was said and done i was in no mood.

then on saturday exactly one week after the phone call i hoped to get to work early enough to make the call. my friend anthony wanted me to go back to his martial arts school to meet his business partner and it was a while before i returned home. then quickly got ready for work and drove my mother’s car to “the show”. so the dent in that plan was traffic coming into downtown chicago on cermak. by the time i had arrive to work there was little time for me to make that call.

after that i just said forget it. see this is what happens when i choose to procrastinate when i should just go for it. from this point forward began a long drought starting in march through roughly september where i had no interviews – hell no nibbles.

funny thing was that i had a nice stretch where i really had no serious issues with anyone at “the show”. yeah the female cliques of the time probably came up with something regarding me. for example a young lady wanted to drop some popcorn in a bin but because we already were having issues i wouldn’t move out the way and she just started talking shit about me for a good period of time with some of her like-minded coworkers. that’s the only one i can really think of.

recently i started to realize something. my friend anthony continues to hit me with it’s not the place it’s the people. he believes it even if i stick with it’s hard to separate the people from the place. unfortunately i’ve started to learn how “the place” brings out the worst in people. perhaps it’s as simple as how the people – management – chooses to run the place.

if there are conflicts between people over very small issues no matter what, and people are willing to start fights over it threaten people even get others to gang up on people there is a serious issue there. granted so many were so young but they really need a crash course on how to get along with people at work. it should take some time to get rid of people but with people willing to snipe their coworkers or just become problem employees they need a crash course of they need to go.

and just thing this month two years later, i found myself with a better job and hopefully better people at a better place. and on top that became a full-time employee with good benefits and paid time off. in time got my first raise ever!

however at that point in time, it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

changes

been thinking about ways i can grow where i am currently. one of the reasons I left “the show” over two years ago was that i wasn’t growing at the theater. right now my job at “fresh foods” is somewhere i can grow.

the changes in the department has caused some disruption. our management is almost 100% flipped and brought in some new people or managers who are new to our team. they have to get to know us.

because fresh foods has been slashing the number of supervisors a few have moved on to other stores others have stepped down from their roles. they still work with us but they’re no longer supervisors.

allegedly one of those supervisors have stepped down not long after not becoming one of our assistant managers. someone told me he’s a bit frustrated which i understood especially after his interview. the job he went for had been reposted.

with all this pessimistic talk i’ve seen this before. it happened at “the show” people talking about moving on. people being a bit crabby – indeed one of the people who was on the panel just upped and quit a few days ago. things aren’t looking that great right now.

btw, as much as i want to hang in there and see how things shake out. how long do i wait until it’s too late?