crisis: past tense

Concession Counter at Movie Theater

i began to realize that i was in a bit of a crisis from roughly 2012 to 2014. this was the “streak era” and that crisis involved confidence. some of my coworkers weren’t confident in me because they wanted to create drama and sometimes that drama included me.

often i point the finger at the young girls who created their cliques and targeted people they don’t like. who knows what exactly their purpose was other than to flex their muscles but that’s what it is. the mgmt clique was another group that one had to be concerned about they actually could cost anyone their job and especially if they wanted to trust the accusation of the young clique.

working with people who are quick to throw you under the bus for the least reason causes a crisis of confidence. also, the general atmosphere among associates had been that we’re replaceable anyone could do the job. it doesn’t matter how well one may do the job, their attitude could easily become you may do it well but you’re expendable. when you think about it the cooks from the upstairs lounge learned this attitude and they all just quit, they were tired of it. all our mgmt did was find someone to replace them.

i was never confident that i was doing the job mgmt expected. what i faced is that even though i never got fired the job got done but you run into one person that picks over this & that. perhaps i may not often be a problem however when there is depending upon who’s on duty it gets magnified quick. there was a general issue with morale and mgmt of the time really wasn’t help. it doesn’t matter who you clamp down on!

another set-up when i was working at “the show” i was in my early 30s. just graduated from “mission college” was a bit optimistic about my future. i really believed that my degree would open some doors for me and sadly it didn’t open any during my time at “the show”. bad enough i was working at a movie theater but those who knew i had a college degree found a way to use it as a cheap shot. and towards the end my longevity was used as a cheap shot.

funny part of this story is that i rarely dreaded coming to “the show”, think about it. i had been doing it for five years almost and in some respects there had been far worse periods than the “streak era”. the only time i ever dreaded coming to work was when my brief time went on at “gotham bank”. i really dreaded going to work there until they cut me loose.

the “streak era” crisis was really i couldn’t GET OUT OF THERE. i had already decided i’m not going to leave the show unless i found another job during this period. this was my mindset, me getting fired didn’t enter into my thinking. i went to work with the belief that in order to find another job it was good to be working a job. unfortunately i fill out applications, get interviews and for a good period of time no job offers. essentially the crisis became why won’t employers hire me?

i suppose this is why i may still talk about “the show”. the moment i worked my final shift there really should be the end of the dwelling, but as established with me not so fast. there are plenty of stories to tell from my time. even if many of the people i worked with who caused problems only merge together with no distinctions between them.

now i can say that if yours truly deserved more i’m there now. i got something out of my time there, it helped me get to where i need to be now. here’s hoping i continue to learn these many lessons.

regroup

career-growth

i’m in training for a different position than my current one at “fresh foods”. this is more of an administrative role than a customer service role and as state one that could place me on track for mgmt. this is the growth i often talk about that i missed at “the show”.

for the most part it seems like a smooth transition and it feels strange essentially being the new guy again. the difference this time is basically already knowing the people who i’d be working with. i’m not joining an existing team – or more commonly being part of a new team – with whom i mostly never met before applying, interviewing and accepting a job.

it’s more work than i ever have undertaken in a long time perhaps aside from some of those days at the show where i did really have to earn my meager pay. still worthwhile in the long run.

to explain my work history during my 20s was terrible. although i had attained a college degree, my lack of experience probably would’ve held me back big time. it was easier to get a job in retail and hope for a future opportunity in a field where i attained my degree. that or make enough money to go back to school for an advanced degree.

on this blog i feel as if i spent time badmouthing “the show” or perhaps some of the people – managers and coworkers – i worked with. well what i try to remember was that it was worthwhile to work there almost 5 years while i never before had such solid work experience. working through my frustration during the course of five years there only set me up for today’s growth.

growth is important for this new period i will refer to as “the apocalypse” and my hopes are to achieve some important goals. perhaps as time goes on it’ll be worth sharing them.

younger women at “fresh foods”

mary aka crazy vibes unfortunately i learned was let go from “fresh foods” a few months ago. she had that odd crazy giggle and was pleasing to the eyes physically, but i had decided that she had some issues upstairs. while i personally was attracted to her, her mental state kept me distant.

in some respects she was very nice probably very cool. though because i made no effort to approach here – and there had been many opportunities – there was some distance. i probably never gave her a reason to really bridge the distance in my case i was unsure if i should’ve.

in that neighboring department there was a new young woman – of about 21 – who had been there since the summer. her body type resembles the young lady you see below though she left a lot more to the imagination than what you see here.
29.02.16 - 1

i will call this woman mary jr. she seems a lot more playful – and probably in a less crazy way than mary. she’s thicker, younger, and has caught my eye and certainly the eye of other young men. like mary, junior seems to have a certain distance from me.

often mary jr might send a quick comment my way about my whistling for example – she doesn’t like it apparently. otherwise not much is said by me and typically she doesn’t seem to notice me. i rarely have much to say to her and it might be because there is an age difference and it’s certainly attributable to her playful and youthful demeanor.

as of now however she’s one of the most interesting women i’ve seen at work. my dilemma is how to proceed and i’ve never been very good at that.

part of me wants to resort to the whole anonymous not slipped in her locker and she may want to know who’s interested. i feel as if that won’t go over very well.

i like to think i look younger than my almost 40 designation, however, doing the note thing is really beneath me. would the best move for me who’s never been on a bonifide date with a grown woman – well over 21 mainly – is to be bold? and considering that i’m checking out women at the work place regardless of their age this is something i want to be careful with.

april 2013

Amc-theatre

while i could turn this into an april fool’s post i’m playing this one straight.

in april 2013 i was ready to leave “the show” unfortunately the three early opportunities to have come up for me didn’t pan out. during this particular month i took a test for the local transit authority to become a station agent. it paid much better than the show at least $12/hr part time with benefits. sadly i didn’t get that job, i passed the test but couldn’t connect with them when they called me later.

also the previous month i had gotten a phone call from another theater of this national cinema chain. in february of that year i had interviewed from a theater right off the magnificient mile which did not result in a job offer. this was another fail and was further frustrated by some intervening events.

when they called me it was on a saturday night and at work. i had the next day off and didn’t call and waited until thursday to call them back. the person i needed to speak to wasn’t in, however, i was told in spite of the length of time it took for me to call them back to try back in the afternoon.

my friend anthony wanted me to meet with someone that afternoon though failed to tell me when. basically we spent most of our time downtown hanging out unbeknownst to me. i never told him that i needed to call these people from that national chain. we wound up going to his martial arts school for a meeting that never happened.

so on a friday night i worked early and intended to come home to make that call. except on my way back to the house my mother called me up from work insisting that i needed to go with her to get some bottled water from a neighboring suburb – because chicago has a tax on plastic bottles per bottle even in a pack. when all was said and done i was in no mood.

then on saturday exactly one week after the phone call i hoped to get to work early enough to make the call. my friend anthony wanted me to go back to his martial arts school to meet his business partner and it was a while before i returned home. then quickly got ready for work and drove my mother’s car to “the show”. so the dent in that plan was traffic coming into downtown chicago on cermak. by the time i had arrive to work there was little time for me to make that call.

after that i just said forget it. see this is what happens when i choose to procrastinate when i should just go for it. from this point forward began a long drought starting in march through roughly september where i had no interviews – hell no nibbles.

funny thing was that i had a nice stretch where i really had no serious issues with anyone at “the show”. yeah the female cliques of the time probably came up with something regarding me. for example a young lady wanted to drop some popcorn in a bin but because we already were having issues i wouldn’t move out the way and she just started talking shit about me for a good period of time with some of her like-minded coworkers. that’s the only one i can really think of.

recently i started to realize something. my friend anthony continues to hit me with it’s not the place it’s the people. he believes it even if i stick with it’s hard to separate the people from the place. unfortunately i’ve started to learn how “the place” brings out the worst in people. perhaps it’s as simple as how the people – management – chooses to run the place.

if there are conflicts between people over very small issues no matter what, and people are willing to start fights over it threaten people even get others to gang up on people there is a serious issue there. granted so many were so young but they really need a crash course on how to get along with people at work. it should take some time to get rid of people but with people willing to snipe their coworkers or just become problem employees they need a crash course of they need to go.

and just thing this month two years later, i found myself with a better job and hopefully better people at a better place. and on top that became a full-time employee with good benefits and paid time off. in time got my first raise ever!

however at that point in time, it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

changes

been thinking about ways i can grow where i am currently. one of the reasons I left “the show” over two years ago was that i wasn’t growing at the theater. right now my job at “fresh foods” is somewhere i can grow.

the changes in the department has caused some disruption. our management is almost 100% flipped and brought in some new people or managers who are new to our team. they have to get to know us.

because fresh foods has been slashing the number of supervisors a few have moved on to other stores others have stepped down from their roles. they still work with us but they’re no longer supervisors.

allegedly one of those supervisors have stepped down not long after not becoming one of our assistant managers. someone told me he’s a bit frustrated which i understood especially after his interview. the job he went for had been reposted.

with all this pessimistic talk i’ve seen this before. it happened at “the show” people talking about moving on. people being a bit crabby – indeed one of the people who was on the panel just upped and quit a few days ago. things aren’t looking that great right now.

btw, as much as i want to hang in there and see how things shake out. how long do i wait until it’s too late?

odds & ends

 

odds_and_endswas talking recently to a young coworker about all the changes at our store and also our company. there aren’t many paths to move up in our dept anymore as the company cut some supervisory positions. i was supposed to be up for a supervisory position – akin to an hr role for the dept unfortunately they cut the position so therefore no need to interview anyone.

one supervisor has moved on to a different store. the other two supervisors are stepping down from their roles because they both have found other jobs. we’re getting two assistant managers from other stores one of whom have left an unfortunate first impression upon arriving. another i will be on a panel to interview them.

also this coworker told me for the first time that our former boss made some good money. almost $30/hr and roughly $50K a year, and i admitted i would stick around just to make that much cash. though getting into a position would be such a competitive process.

btw, i also learned for the first time that our former boss who left last month is moving on to selling luxury cars. if my coworker is correct he found the right fit for him as a car salesman. he does sales for our dept and understands some of the nuances of sales. perhaps he’ll do well on a commission job and possibly double what he made as a dept manager.

we both have found ourselves wondering if we both joined at the wrong time. to which i try not to dwell on where the company is now.

i told him that it’s better he came to our store than to stay where he was down the street. he didn’t like it there and he moved on. things aren’t looking good right now, however it’s better than where he was.

in fact to look at my path. i left “the show” where i had a very limited path to succeed. and unfortunately at the mercy of other people who were looking for problems. then took a risk and moved onto a bank where i had limited hours – far less than at the movie theater – however a great potential to make more money through referrals. sadly i crashed and burned there and luckily landed somewhere to realize the potential to make more money. now things are a changing and i have to determine what’s next, but i’m at a good company where i could afford to move around.

and also i can consider that it was better to have worked at “the show” than to have nothing at all. perhaps close to five years at the theater is better than doing another temp job and then being let go and waiting for the next temp job. i used to shit on that old job, but it was necessary back in the day regardless of how long it took me to simply find another job and move on.

sh*t-talking

well the shit-talking has begun in our department, there is an assistant manager in our department helping us out as we figure out who will lead our dept. so we’re in a state of upheaval after our big boss quit for another job and another is departing soon to a new position at a new store.

this other assistant manager came from another store nearby. been with company almost two decades and is already not making a good first impression. she’s already starting to micromanage people and rub them the wrong way.

it’s one thing for her to rub regular employees the wrong way, it’s totally another to rub other members of leadership the wrong way. for example, I heard our acting dept. manager and one of the supervisors talking about her. the conversation they had wasn’t good. the supervisor said that she acts like she’s still new to the job and she was a micro-manager and yet been working there two decades. also she’s just interfering and she really isn’t doing anything.

i spoke to another coworker and i had my own opinion. there have been managers who used their authority to just be downright rude to employees and unnecessarily. most of the time i just took it but there’s always a breaking point. it’s often made worse because perhaps they found something i’m in the wrong about. i’m not saying that’s this lady’s shortcoming, but she has them regardless.

at least for me i can do something about it. i volunteered to be on a panel interview for at least assistant managers. so it’s one more thing to add to the resume especially when it happens. hopefully i can do my part to root out those individuals who aren’t likely to be good fits for our department. i just hope others see what we’ve been seeing.