I know that I had spend just about a year “whining” about my old hustler. Also in talking with others about him I’ve run into a term that more than likely I just have gravitated towards, “sociopath”. Sometimes I have to remember that I’m not a mental health professional, and I have to stop myself from wondering who else had I run into who might have been a sociopath.
Doing that would just continue to drive me nuts and place me deeper within the kaos.
What have I written about since writing about trying to have rules of no engagement with Anthony. I’ve had the greatest period of peace in my life since I have met him. Think about this after he made some of his moves when we first met at the theater, I started off avoiding him because he came at me right away begging. Also he was the type that would let me know I had a crisis and really try to drive home that he was trying to avert this crisis.
His questions and comments about me being a virgin, I’ve decided was an attempt at an edge. He wanted me to think of it as a bad thing and it’s something I must address before a certain point before it becomes a problem. It’s probably not really an issue for him since he seems to have little issue getting any – he loves to chase p@$$y although he seems to be perpetually single. What I’ve begun to theorize since I’ve known him is this small piece of information to him means I have some value to him – i.e. money at his beck and call.
I often say that my current rules of no engagement might well bother him. He may not entirely know why I’m just not answering the phone for him. He may not understand my lack of urgency as far as his voicemail at the end of last year. Then again he might realize that I’m trying to cut ties, perhaps he knows “my game” and since that wasn’t part of his plan he’s probably trying to get me back onto his planet.
His motivations for “befriending” me years ago is clear to me. I realize that our conversations about life or business was empty – and as far as yours truly I suspect Anthony considers anything I say about life to be empty. I realize most of them time we would ever talk it often could lead to him asking for something. And now if he can keep the lines of communication going it’ll happen again because that’s the pattern.
So while a few months ago I showed a video actually of psychopaths and have used sociopath or sociopathy with regards to someone I once considered a friend I don’t want to be so judgemental. Do I think I’m still under the gun from him? Yes. However I must restate how it’s important for rules of NO engagement. I still feel as if a final dramatic confrontation will remain a very stressful concept.