rememberance

my dad’s birthday has just recently passed. it’s been 20 years since his untimely and unexpected passing. his addiction to alcohol for the many years i knew him took its toll on him.

as often stated on this blog, no one is sure what triggered his addiction. my suspicion is the fact that his parents split when he was young. this was something he never entirely got over even into his adulthood.

one thing to bear in mind with this is that my mother realized she wanted a car, thankfully she could afford one. my dad didn’t want her to have a car and had an attitude about it. perhaps he just didn’t believe my mother should be independent of him.

it occurs to me that perhaps he feared that my mother would get away from him if she had a car. that was unlikely but if you were insecure in the first place, your mind runs wild. if someone was going to leave you keeping them from having a car is the least of your worries. if a person is determined to leave they’ll find a way regardless.

as for me my dad had the idea that my brother wanted to bequeath one of his cars to me. for most of the time my brother lived with us his choice car was a honda. i remember his late 80s to early 90s honda civic colored burgundy. i may not have cared for his choice of a honda, but looking back it was an attractive car and if it was to be i’d have one. someone my dad didn’t like it and queried me on it.

all i could tell him wsa that i knew nothing about it and that was an answer he didn’t like. “DON’T YOU LIE TO ME!” he says, but the truth was i knew nothing about it and my dad didn’t believe it. my brother never said anything to me about it. perhaps my dad didn’t want me to be independent of him either!

i recognize that my dad had some severe issues which he proved unwilling to truly overcome. it’s a shame, because dealing with his addiction and ultimately the underlining causes could’ve saved his life.

joyeaux anniversaire

it’s that time of year again celebrating my birthday. now i really want to take stock of what i want to accomplish in this new year.

so many things to accomplish beyond financial goals. yeah i can always take care of money, but now i need to focus on some more personal goals. it’s my hope to explore those goals as i go forward on this blog.

yeah now i’m much closer to 40, but then so what. life isn’t over it’s still moving forward and hopefully i can accomplish some things before i get over that hump. especially in achieving some of my personal and financial goals.

on the other hand…

two years ago at least two days from my birthday i was fired from the bank. i’ve told that story numerous times on this blog. a few days after my birthday recently i drove through the neighborhood where i formerly worked at that bank.

no new changes other than that branch has closed during the ensuing two years. one night i drove to the hospital where my mother is for the time being and see that the branch is about to be turned into a fried fish establishment. a short-order food place which amazes me somewhat.

a pizza place was nearby when i worked there and that place is gone now. the pizza place had been a bank customer anyway. also nearby is a laundromat is still open.

i consider this one place i’ve been. my first new job since leaving “the show” and it wasn’t a rousing success. indeed this definitely wasn’t the assignment of my choice but during a very frustrating period of time they were the ones who hired me.

but as i consider where i am working now which is back in downtown chicago i see that in this old neighborhood there are some changes. change is of course always good, however, the only change is the tenants of the strip mall where the branch was located. and even then in that neighborhood, there’s still not a lot of action that exists in the downtown area.

at this point i’m not upset that i was unceremoniously dumped from this bank. and i’m not too upset that the branch has closed since i left. just a sign that i achieved one goal after that only short-term set back.

Joyeux anniversaire

My birthday had passed recently and essentially I didn’t think about it until one of my coworkers asked what day it was. not sure why it slipped my mind like that but it came back to me quickly.

later before i left work becky bought be a cupcake not long after she came to work. she realized it was my birthday as it was posted to my fb account. she had someone in another department put writing on my cupcake.

that someone is mary. yeah unfortunately i talk about her on this blog a lot accusing her of “stalking” and wondering what’s going on upstairs in her mind. i’ve already talked about those “crazy vibes” from her. on realizing that she was responsible for the lettering i hugged her, just went over to her area asked and she obliged.

for the record becky is a hugger and for the cupcake she got one too.i was real tempted to say i really wanted to steal something else but thought better of it. really thoughtful of her to think of that.

so today a pair of anything from professional courtesies or friendly courtesies, whatever, cool thing she did. unfortunately before i got home to eat the cupcake the lettering smearing off posted the results on instagram. and then went home to chill for the rest of the day.